Pat had an action packed Saturday

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
They're at the Home Depot so that little cart of plants set them back about 300 smackers. How many airbnb nights is it gonna take to cover that bill?
They go to this place

1716154495263.png
 

stealthygeek

Reminder: Vincent D'Onofrio blocked Patrick
I have freaky long toes like that too. My feet look like monkey feet-hands. They gross me out so the closest I get to sandals is Crocs.
Me too. When I was ~12 years old a girl pointed and laughed at my toes and dubbed them "goblin toes." Kept asking why they looked like that. Didn't wear sandals again till college.
 

SensibleKeks

Pat loves a well done steak. Back in 2013 when Pat was promoting some shitty novel, that even he doesn't acknowledges exists, he was asked was his most member meal. Why you would ask an author that I have no idea. Here was his response.

But by then, I was floating along merrily on the dual highs of engaging conversation and a slight buzz. I ordered my ‘starch’, mashed red potatoes with the skins left in, my meat, a filet mingon well-done, and another round of drinks.

I’m sure some of you are cringing at the very concept of a well-done filet mingon, but the texture of rare meat doesn’t agree with my palate.

Pat goes on to show that he doesn't know what a well done steak even is. I have zero doubt the cooks took turns spitting in his food.

I want my meat good and dead. The trouble with this is, under normal circumstances, I ask for well-done with the expectation that the cook will assume I’ve suffered some sort of traumatic brain injury, leaving me incapable of forming or holding rational opinions, and therefore deliver a steak the way he wants to cook it, which is typically medium if I’m very lucky.

So it was with great surprise that about a half-hour later, I was delivered a filet that was not only devoid of any pink at the center, but retained all of its juiciness and flavor. The chef had butterflied the meat, then seared it on both sides to prevent the moisture from leaking out while it cooked under a lid. I’ve since tried to duplicate the process, and while my own efforts have gotten much better, they have never come close to the melt-in-your-mouth texture of that perfectly cooked piece of meat.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
Pat loves a well done steak. Back in 2013 when Pat was promoting some shitty novel, that even he doesn't acknowledges exists, he was asked was his most member meal. Why you would ask an author that I have no idea. Here was his response.



Pat goes on to show that he doesn't know what a well done steak even is. I have zero doubt the cooks took turns spitting in his food.


Great minds think a lot
 

RoxburyRick

Here is another one of pats steaks.


As a former chef I'm gonna point out some things.
-that "pan sauce" or attempt at a demi or whatever the fuck that is is BROKEN. Did he cook this himself? Less heat and more patience you FUCKING DONKEY
-the filet itself looks like @NewJersey.gov pinky toe. Nice nigger toe steak, stupid.
-those mashed potatoes are anemic. They look gummy, like Patrick put a pound of butter in them. It's all gonna go straight to his fat tits.
-what's in the trough behind the steak? It appears to be a couple of lightly charred jalapeños, grilled (why) short ribs which will be tougher than fuck, and some reheated stouffers lasagna
 

RoxburyRick

As a former chef I'm gonna point out some things.
-that "pan sauce" or attempt at a demi or whatever the fuck that is is BROKEN. Did he cook this himself? Less heat and more patience you FUCKING DONKEY
-the filet itself looks like @NewJersey.gov pinky toe. Nice nigger toe steak, stupid.
-those mashed potatoes are anemic. They look gummy, like Patrick put a pound of butter in them. It's all gonna go straight to his fat tits.
-what's in the trough behind the steak? It appears to be a couple of lightly charred jalapeños, grilled (why) short ribs which will be tougher than fuck, and some reheated stouffers lasagna
Rube paid $75 for a broken port Demi and an overcooked filet. If I got that on a plate I'd explain to them how terrible it looks and ask for a new one.
 
Top