These two retards couldn’t even fry an egg together.

[Ant_It_Fun]

"Wifey"? Is it 2004, again?

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Prison slop would be the most accurate way to describe this meal.

To be fair there’s better food in the joint.

 

[fricklefrackle]

Those meatloafballs look drier than Nikki's cunt.

 

[Meownaw]

I thought she was a vegan. Anyone have the tweet where he claimed this?

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I love what a terrible cook and wife Niki is. How is it a surprise treat for her to make a meal for her own husband? Truly pathetic.

Dinner is served hot for my man every day he gets home from work (plated within 5 minutes of his arrival). I've made beef bourguignon twice for him this month alone (since he loved it so much the first time), and am going to roast a whole chicken tonight. All while keeping a clean house. He doesn't lift a finger.

We are all better than this lardass and his lazy slob of a 'wife'. You guys get to gloat about your successful careers, I get to gloat about my wifing skills. There's something for everybody when it comes to Patposting!

Guaranteed “Old Testament sex god” Pat is lucky to get a pity handjob (no lube) once a month, or plain missionary that involves no eye contact. This is not the kind of food you cook for someone you’re fucking (I’m speaking as a man, I’d never put this slop on a plate for my woman).

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

What a fucking plate of garbage

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

If there's one man I would guess would have a Frigidaire remote control...

 

[UnPRePared]

When my woman cooks for me, you see the love right in the food.

Doesn't matter if she goes the extra mile to make something with sugar substitute and low carb, or a delicious home cooked dinner - you clearly see the effort on the plate and on her face.

If Pat wasn't such a sperg and could look someone in the eye, maybe he'd see the disgust on her face that's clearly reflected on shitty color plates.

"My First Sony"-equivalent dinnerware motherfuckers.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

To pat this is what he thinks is eating healthy.

 

[FLUUUID]

That risotto looks absolutely shit. I make an Asparagus risotto where the stock is made from the stems. To make risotto properly you have to slowly add stock and stir til its absorbed, then repeat until the stock is gone. Its a laborious process to get right and a big commitment to make for dinner, let alone lunch. Ol' yellerteef definitely didn't put effort in to that shit, it looks awful, plus frying peppers and "meatball". Horrendous.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

He posts the most mundane shit. What a mediocre white man.

Guess he thinks this will get him that cool hip job at Teen Vogue. Food pictures are a MUST, wife-child!

 

[FurBurger]

So, obviously those peppers are flecked with seasoning, rather than being blackened - but I can't tell which seasoning.

Is it Teflon, or has she ruined Nana's cast iron?

 

[guest]

That risotto looks absolutely shit. I make an Asparagus risotto where the stock is made from the stems. To make risotto properly you have to slowly add stock and stir til its absorbed, then repeat until the stock is gone. Its a laborious process to get right and a big commitment to make for dinner, let alone lunch. Ol' yellerteef definitely didn't put effort in to that shit, it looks awful, plus frying peppers and "meatball". Horrendous.

Yep. In our household, risotto is an Autumnal dish that gets made every week or two in October and November with the porcini and chanterelles we pick and dry from our woods in August and September.

Lightly fry white onion on a medium heat, then toast the Arborio rice in olive oil. Once translucent, slowly add chicken stock, ladle by ladle. Rehydrate the dried wild mushrooms and keep the leftover liquor. Add the mushrooms to the rice halfway through and slowly keep adding the stock and mushroom liquor until all of the rice is cooked. Take off the heat, add a knob of butter and a shitload of grated parmesan or gran padano and stir thoroughly.

Serve immediately with a green salad and olive oil, dijon mustard, red wine vinegar, garlic dressing. In the evening, on non-colored crockery and not in Wisconsin.

 

[FLUUUID]

...

Serve immediately, not in Wisconsin.

Sounds delightful. Of you're a fan of Asparagus i recommended the Asparagus risotto. You break the wooden ends off and discard and snap the spears off the top and keep for the end, then chop the stems into 3s then boil them in water until they are soft then use a hand blender in the pan until you have a green liquid, and use that in place of the chicken stock as you would a normal risotto. Add the spears just before the end to soften them up and voila.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

this will look exactly the same when wifey throws it up later in an alcoholic haze

 

[stealthygeek]

We've seen his scrambled eggs (multiple times) and he can't even whisk eggs properly. It's a <5 minute meal and not only does he feel it's special enough to photograph but he even fails to spread peanut butter on his toast properly.

Reminder: Pat once chastised a Parisian chef in broken Duolingo French for not scrambling eggs the Mama Raven way. Anyways, burn a credit on this referral link so I dont have to spend any of quasi's money on the premium edition, child.

Learn a language for free

Learn languages by playing a game. It's 100% free, fun, and scientifically proven to work.

invite.duolingo.com

 

[GiveItAResto]

Disgusting looking meal with terrible nutritional value. Meat balls obviously came premade and the only slightly appetizing thing on the plate.

What the fuck Pat. Tell that bitch to follow a recipe or watch some cooking videos on YouTube.

Nik and Rik, truly a pair of classless and unremarkable fatso's

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

Frozen microwave meatballs, rice-a-roni, and pepper chunks (wtf) glistening with some sort of glaze (probably butter).

It's a meal a lazy single mother would make her kids when she doesn't want to cook. The fact that he thinks this is impressive once again proves what a tasteless rube he is.

 

[Udders]

We go light on the carbs so I served it with sauteed mushrooms (and the obligatory onions, garlic, and tomato paste). I followed Julia Child's recipe here to the letter and it came out perfect:



Edit: A couple of nights ago I followed her recommended way of cooking steak and deglazing the pan with a little wine, butter, and chopped onion & garlic to make a sauce for the steak. So effing good!

But was it heavenly?

 

[guest]

I love what a terrible cook and wife Niki is. How is it a surprise treat for her to make a meal for her own husband? Truly pathetic.

Dinner is served hot for my man every day he gets home from work (plated within 5 minutes of his arrival). I've made beef bourguignon twice for him this month alone (since he loved it so much the first time), and am going to roast a whole chicken tonight. All while keeping a clean house. He doesn't lift a finger.

We are all better than this lardass and his lazy slob of a 'wife'. You guys get to gloat about your successful careers, I get to gloat about my wifing skills. There's something for everybody when it comes to Patposting!

I'm assuming in your house, your husband is the primary breadwinner so you do the right thing and take care of him when he comes home. You cook and clean. He doesn't have to do anything.

Despite what Rudy claims, it's fairly obvious Niki is was the primary breadwinner. Rufus should be cleaning the house and making her meals. Instead, Fatty sits on the couch in his pink blanky (maybe Niki makes him wrap up in it to try and hold the fart gasses in) fatly oinking on Twitter while Niki makes him food.

Fatso makes no money, doesn't clean or cook. He's literally worthless.