Thank you to those who got the bit tonight. Here's the transcript for real

[DanMullen'sRetardedNephew]

My fucking ribs will never recover from this.

 

[guest]

View attachment 33450

Truer words have never been spoken

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Oof. I bet that one went over like a lead buffoon.

 

[guest]

This is a comedy of Shakespearian proportions, unbelievable. My fucking ribs.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

View attachment 33451

My fucking ribs will never recover from this.

This is why I hate you, Patrick. Everyone would find that hilarious.

 

[guest]

Dannyboy, Thank you for all of your hard work

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Reading pats stammering and soft spoken tone is almost as good as hearing it. Props to BDA for keeping it to the point. I would have explained to the judge child that it’s hilarious to watch him sperg out and make him squeal. I also love the childish back and forths BDA and Rick had. Truly phenomenal.

 

[guest]

I think it’s pretty far-fetched to believe that this guy who is an expert in everything from international relations, to hydrodynamics, to astrophysics, and constitutional law would not realize that making a statement to the police doesn’t automatically make something unequivocally true.

Plus it seems like he didn’t even bring the police report with him. I guess he just thought the court would magically have all that in hand ready for his big case.

 

[Jenna]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

Right outta the gate I'm already loffin

View attachment 33447

Isn't Patrick Sean Thomas that black actor from Save the Last Dance?

 

[guest]

View attachment 33454


Dannyboy, Thank you for all of your hard work

This may be on of the funniest things i have ever seen in my life. This is like a fever dream

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Oh fuck me, that must have been funny.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

What were you doing here, @ThatRetardWhoDoxxdHimself? Hopefully holding your nose up like a pig snout and making oinking noises.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

View attachment 33456

What were you doing here, @ThatRetardWhoDoxxdHimself? Hopefully holding your nose up like a pig snout and making oinking noises.

I'd love for BDA to correct me if I'm wrong but I believe he said he looked at Patrick and smirked.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

This shit is in the public record now. FOREVER.

(I'm sorry I keep posting, but god damn. Don't rib me; I'm just posting choice sections.)

 

[Stent]

I don't spend very much time in court.

Again, lol

 

[RobertMewler]

 

[guest]

Enjoy!

Felony transcript withholding. Not to be confused with no tax withholding on fat unemployed men who are net tax takers.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

I just wish we could have linked BDA to all of Pat's "Actual Tough Guy/Show me your face and I'll show you my gun, pussy" type of tweets for when the judge asked what kind of stuff he Tweets.

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

View attachment 33456

What were you doing here, @ThatRetardWhoDoxxdHimself? Hopefully holding your nose up like a pig snout and making oinking noises.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the judge was saying "Sir, don't do that" to Pat because Pat was trying to talk directly to Andrew. Fucking hysterical regardless. One of the funniest things I've ever read.

 

[Clint Ruin]

This is my favorite, fucking nervous little mush mouth femme: