Nana cameo in jackie jokeman doc trailer.

[Queefer Sutherland]

You can blame a lot of that on Stern. When Artie was left to his own devices he was funny on Stern. His drinking and gambling in Vegas. Him and Gilbert doing Robin's news and screaming. All of the crazy stories of his life he told. His fights with the staff. His ability to get on mic and interrupt Howard and not fear for his job. It all made for good radio. Artie was great on the show from 2001 to 2005. But everything after that was continually downhill until the implosion (too soon for implosion jokes?).

What happened in 2005?

A major problem with Artie is that Stern never really reigned him in and got him to be normal and just focus on the show. Just like Howard didn't really force Artie into rehab when he was obviously drinking or using drugs. Stern also didn't stop Artie from making Beer League which was clearly too much work for Artie to take on by himself and greatly affected him negatively. Howard always loathed when his guys would use his name to plug their side gigs. He hated when guys like Gary, Fred, John, and even Robin would use his name to get themselves work outside of the show. The only person to ever be allowed to basically plug everything was Jackie because he was a proven standup comic before working for Stern. And even then Jackie knew that he had to compete with the plugs of the other staff members and forced Tom Chiusano to write the plugs into this contracts.

But Howard always hated people using his name to pick up other gigs when they were already working for him full time. It was something that Howard was very consistent with from early KROCK days. Up until today. Yet, he let Artie pitch Beer League to literally every movie distribution company by saying "Look.....I'm on the Stern....the movie will make tons of money". And told Artie that he could make Beer League and work for the Stern Show and it would not be a problem. He made the exception for Artie which is something he didn't even do for Jackie or Billy.

We might not ever know the truth of what happened with Artie. But at some point he was producing and filming Beer League and he was having trouble concentrating on all of his work. So he began using cocaine heavily. Was it because of Beer League? Comedy gigs? He's just an asshole disgrace? We don't really know. But at some point he was doing Stern, standup comedy, and Beer League nonstop for months. According to Artie, so this might be a lie, he was at a comedy gig and asked someone to get him cocaine and they got him heroin instead. And he used the heroin thinking that it was cocaine. And when he asked the guy for more the guy said "I can hook you up with a heroin dealer". So Artie began using heroin from that point on. But this trusting a junkie's word so who knows.

Multiple people on set of Beer League thought Artie was on drugs. Stern staff members did. But Stern ignored all of their warning and basically said "mind your own business". And this was during 2005 when Artie was clearly messed up. And after years of him binge drinking during live appearances and showing he had no control over his alcohol intake. Someone from Beer League contacted Stern and the radio show and said that Artie was on drugs. And others threatened to walk off of Beer League unless Artie went to rehab. Stern knew about this and so did others from the show. But Artie refused rehab. Instead Artie began using Subutex pills and trying to ween himself off of heroin which bought him another few years of using without people fearing for his life. But he never was off heroin for more than a short period. Never sober.

And the drugs for Artie basically didn't stop until his suicide attempt and his nose looked like the Titan submersible (too soon?).

You can't force a 40 year old man into rehab. Artie is a fat junkie.

 

[medium wyzzz]

Did they get howie in on it?

 

[satanssockpuppet]

You can blame a lot of that on Stern. When Artie was left to his own devices he was funny on Stern. His drinking and gambling in Vegas. Him and Gilbert doing Robin's news and screaming. All of the crazy stories of his life he told. His fights with the staff. His ability to get on mic and interrupt Howard and not fear for his job. It all made for good radio. Artie was great on the show from 2001 to 2005. But everything after that was continually downhill until the implosion (too soon for implosion jokes?).

What happened in 2005?

A major problem with Artie is that Stern never really reigned him in and got him to be normal and just focus on the show. Just like Howard didn't really force Artie into rehab when he was obviously drinking or using drugs. Stern also didn't stop Artie from making Beer League which was clearly too much work for Artie to take on by himself and greatly affected him negatively. Howard always loathed when his guys would use his name to plug their side gigs. He hated when guys like Gary, Fred, John, and even Robin would use his name to get themselves work outside of the show. The only person to ever be allowed to basically plug everything was Jackie because he was a proven standup comic before working for Stern. And even then Jackie knew that he had to compete with the plugs of the other staff members and forced Tom Chiusano to write the plugs into this contracts.

But Howard always hated people using his name to pick up other gigs when they were already working for him full time. It was something that Howard was very consistent with from early KROCK days. Up until today. Yet, he let Artie pitch Beer League to literally every movie distribution company by saying "Look.....I'm on the Stern....the movie will make tons of money". And told Artie that he could make Beer League and work for the Stern Show and it would not be a problem. He made the exception for Artie which is something he didn't even do for Jackie or Billy.

We might not ever know the truth of what happened with Artie. But at some point he was producing and filming Beer League and he was having trouble concentrating on all of his work. So he began using cocaine heavily. Was it because of Beer League? Comedy gigs? He's just an asshole disgrace? We don't really know. But at some point he was doing Stern, standup comedy, and Beer League nonstop for months. According to Artie, so this might be a lie, he was at a comedy gig and asked someone to get him cocaine and they got him heroin instead. And he used the heroin thinking that it was cocaine. And when he asked the guy for more the guy said "I can hook you up with a heroin dealer". So Artie began using heroin from that point on. But this trusting a junkie's word so who knows.

Multiple people on set of Beer League thought Artie was on drugs. Stern staff members did. But Stern ignored all of their warning and basically said "mind your own business". And this was during 2005 when Artie was clearly messed up. And after years of him binge drinking during live appearances and showing he had no control over his alcohol intake. Someone from Beer League contacted Stern and the radio show and said that Artie was on drugs. And others threatened to walk off of Beer League unless Artie went to rehab. Stern knew about this and so did others from the show. But Artie refused rehab. Instead Artie began using Subutex pills and trying to ween himself off of heroin which bought him another few years of using without people fearing for his life. But he never was off heroin for more than a short period. Never sober.

And the drugs for Artie basically didn't stop until his suicide attempt and his nose looked like the Titan submersible (too soon?).

You really do remember this shit remarkably well. I was a daily HSS listener from the late 80s through 2001. Jackie (and while he was there, Billy) was the funniest thing about the show. Feeding Stern jokes, the relentless ball breaking, and his hilarious Bayville lifestyle never got old. As soon as Jackie left, the quality of the show instantly nosedived, and until Artie was hired, it was pretty much unlistenable.

I enjoyed the early Artie years, not as much as I liked Jackie, but still. It's always been my opinion that not giving Artie an ultimatum as soon as he heard "cocaine and heroin" was possibly the shittiest thing Stern has ever done. He should have taken him aside privately, and told him you go to rehab, you get tested, or you're off the show, period. But Howard opted to turn it into a bit, like how he used to goof on Jackie's retarded beer and weed-fueled lifestyle. And anyone could see it was far more serious than Jackie's hi-jinx. You could see and hear Artie deteriorating, lying, nodding off, getting all defensive all the time, and you can't help but wonder if on some level Artie was, in his own way, crying out for help that Howard didn't feel obliged to offer. And while you could argue that it wasn't Stern's problem, it would have been the decent, human thing to do. It always seemed difficult to believe that Stern was that naive re: coke and dope. Stern seemed more concerned with being associated with a potential OD death than he did with Artie the person, and IMO it came across as really shitty and shallow.

What happened to Artie after the Stern show was a disgrace. His "dying junkie comedian" bit wasn't funny, and by the time he "teamed up" with Nana (who he very clearly despised) he was downright repellent. The guy was in obvious, dire need of medical care, with his revolting swollen nose and the rotting teeth, and everyone who played along and worked with him anyway during those years should be ashamed of themselves. For example, whoever hired him for that HBO show he did. Of course, in the end he has no one to blame but himself, but nonetheless.

 

[LingerLonger]

It's always been my opinion that not giving Artie an ultimatum as soon as he heard "cocaine and heroin" was possibly the shittiest thing Stern has ever done.

Howard not only enabled Artie's addictions but basically defend him from everyone else. When people would complain about Artie they couldn't really do anything because Howard never really punished or disciplined Artie for his lack of professionalism. This was a major problem for the people on Beer League because Artie had the backing of Stern and told them all that they had no leverage against him if they just walked off of the movie set. When Artie first got suspended from MadTV the executive producers paid for his rehab and got him private plane and limo services when he came back to the show only for him to use cocaine again and get arrested.

When Artie was first hired for the Stern show it was after he had just had a massive disastrous stint on MadTV that resulted in essentially two firings and a suicide attempt. It also resulted in one of the most hilarous moves in Hollywood history. Where Artie had filmed scenes for Jerry McGuire with Tom Cruise and was going to have a huge part in the film that would seen by the entire world. On the day of his arrest though, the director of the film Cameron Crowe called Artie personally on his phone, and left a message telling Artie he was cutting him out of the film and that everyone disliked him. This to a guy who had tried to commit suicide once already after a drug binge and now was getting a phonecall basically saying "you are blacklisted and Tom Cruise and I hate you".

You could see and hear Artie deteriorating, lying, nodding off, getting all defensive all the time, and you can't help but wonder if on some level Artie was, in his own way, crying out for help that Howard didn't feel obliged to offer.

I don't know what Howard was thinking during some of the months where Artie was clearly using on air. Stuff like him taking 20 minute bathroom breaks but not going into the bathroom should have been a giant red flag. We know that Artie was using in the stairwell of the Sirius building to try to hide his drug habits. And that his dealers somehow made their ways into the building to give him his fix sometimes. He was bringing drugs into the studio and using heroin right there in the building everyday. Staff members kept telling Howard something was wrong but Howard did his "leave it alone" to the extreme.

It was the like the bury-your-head-in-the-sand approach when no sand is available. Howard basically tried to wait it out and see if Artie would get better or maybe just quit on his own. Stern also knew that the last time people forced Artie into rehab he tried to kill himself. And that if he fired Artie it would possibly result in a suicide. So he really didn't have a lot of options that were safe. And he was proven right when Artie became violent to staff members and had to be suspended, mandated to go to compulsory rehabilitation, and then attempt a horrific suicide in his own home where his mother found him.

Stern knew that if he fired Artie that it would cause his fans to blame him for Artie's drugs because the fat junkie Artie was a master at manipulating people. And of course when Artie snapped and tried to kill himself you have tons of people blaming Howard still. As if he was shoveling heroin pills and powder into Artie's mouth. There is probably nothing that Howard could have done by 2008 or 2009. Artie was fully done being anything but a complete piece of shit at that point.

What happened to Artie after the Stern show was a disgrace. His "dying junkie comedian" bit wasn't funny, and by the time he "teamed up" with Nana (who he very clearly despised) he was downright repellent. The guy was in obvious, dire need of medical care, with his revolting swollen nose and the rotting teeth, and everyone who played along and worked with him anyway during those years should be ashamed of themselves.

After his suicide attempt it was Colin Quinn who actually hired some guys to literally kidnap Artie and drag him into rehab. Once Artie was done with rehab he was given the radio show with Nick DiPaolo as he couldn't get major work on his own and Nick wanted a cohost for his new show so he hired Artie. Artie then proceeded to destroy the entire radio show that Nick had gifted him, begin using drugs again, began berating staff including once urinating in the studio into a garbage bin, told Nick that he was a piece of shit who was using Artie (despite the fact that Nick had secured the radio slot without Artie), burned a ton of bridges in comedy, and then was fired from his sports radio show after Nick quit because it turned out that Nick was like the Opie of that show and was the thing that held it all together.

At that point it was obvious that Artie was beyond help. The people at MadTV, Stern, and Nick and Colin had tried to help Artie and he kept using drugs. Anything after that point was just feasting off of the bloating rotted corpse of Artie Lange's name squeeze those last few dollars and cents that could be gained from him including his brief time at Compound Media and HBO.

 

[DooDooBrown]

Never knew that about CQ, good for him.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

Howard not only enabled Artie's addictions but basically defend him from everyone else. When people would complain about Artie they couldn't really do anything because Howard never really punished or disciplined Artie for his lack of professionalism.

This is extremely strange, too, as it's not typical Stern behavior. He never had any problem with calling out Jackie, Gary, John and etc., but he allowed Artie to get away with blatant junkie behavior that would get anyone fired from pretty much any other job. I can kind of buy that he was afraid of the backlash he'd get if he canned Artie and he tried to kill himself or whatever, as that's definitely in character for him. But the fact that he never (as far as we know) never confronted him about it privately says something about how out of touch and or cowardly he was by that point.

Where Artie had filmed scenes for Jerry McGuire with Tom Cruise and was going to have a huge part in the film that would seen by the entire world.

Now this is interesting. So essentially, Artie flushed away a potential legit Hollywood career and landed in morning radio. Ooof. That must have hurt. Another piece of the puzzle falls into place.

Artie then proceeded to destroy the entire radio show that Nick had gifted him

Artie's bitter asshole phase, right before his face began to rot. The junkie who was just too cool and fucked up to give a shit. He was like late-period Kinison, when he'd ramble on and on about all the coke he did, except with heroin, and way less energy.

 

[Turk February]

Oh my gosh! A FOLLOWUP to Bow To Stern! One of the greatest books ever written about Jackie Martling? Couldn't possibly be more excited, maybe if they made a documentary about Doug Goodstein, but that's a pipedream.

 

[LingerLonger]

Artie's bitter asshole phase, right before his face began to rot. The junkie who was just too cool and fucked up to give a shit. He was like late-period Kinison, when he'd ramble on and on about all the coke he did, except with heroin, and way less energy.

Kinison was almost entirely sober in his last years. He was learning to play more musical instruments and banging his girlfriends in his free time. After his main girlfriend was raped he became a different person and stopped partying as he felt guilty that the security guard he hired for her ended up beating her and raping her (the guy ended up getting a jury to find him not guilty which was nuts).

Sam was booking arenas and looking to become a full time musician when he died. During Sam's coke years he once was so horny that he wanted to bang his girlfriend on his private plane. But all of his comedy and rock friends were with him. So he rented a separate private plane just for him and his girlfriend so he could fuck her in the air and still make his next gig. One time he had a giant billboard for himself when the Stern Show came to L.A. and Kinison wanted to show them the billboard. He drove them to the billboard but took the wrong exit and just drove backwards on the highway like a maniac and laughed the entire time.

Sam once booked a gig with Guns N' Roses and Slash was extremely late. And when he showed up Sam knocked him out with one punch and proceeded to strangle him and it took a bunch of guys to pull him off Slash. Slash said he felt he would have died if no one was there and Sam wanted to murder him. And Sam was like 5'2" and didn't really look intimidating.

Kinison had an entire routine about Richard Gere putting gerbils up his ass. This has nothing to do with anything I'm just listening to it now and it's still funny.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

Kinison was almost entirely sober in his last years. He was learning to play more musical instruments and banging his girlfriends in his free time. After his main girlfriend was raped he became a different person and stopped partying as he felt guilty that the security guard he hired for her ended up beating her and raping her (the guy ended up getting a jury to find him not guilty which was nuts).

Sam was booking arenas and looking to become a full time musician when he died. During Sam's coke years he once was so horny that he wanted to bang his girlfriend on his private plane. But all of his comedy and rock friends were with him. So he rented a separate private plane just for him and his girlfriend so he could fuck her in the air and still make his next gig. One time he had a giant billboard for himself when the Stern Show came to L.A. and Kinison wanted to show them the billboard. He drove them to the billboard but took the wrong exit and just drove backwards on the highway like a maniac and laughed the entire time.

Sam once booked a gig with Guns N' Roses and Slash was extremely late. And when he showed up Sam knocked him out with one punch and proceeded to strangle him and it took a bunch of guys to pull him off Slash. Slash said he felt he would have died if no one was there and Sam wanted to murder him. And Sam was like 5'2" and didn't really look intimidating.

Kinison had an entire routine about Richard Gere putting gerbils up his ass. This has nothing to do with anything I'm just listening to it now and it's still funny.

I remember an incident in the summer of 1989, when Sam was a Stern show regular. He was supposed to visit the studio with Bon Jovi, but (if I'm remembering it right) they blew Howard off, and did some other show instead, and Howard totally lost his mind. He went off on a vicious anti-Sam anti-Bon Jovi ("Bon Phony") tirade, and proclaimed that Dice was way better, and hurled all kinds of nasty personal insults at Kinison. Then Sam called in and they had a lengthy "dude man bro" fight that was eventually resolved. Stern slagged on Bon Jovi for years after that, though. Sam used to show up to do Stern totally gakked out of his mind from the night before, and sometimes he was totally out of control, acting like a madman.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I remember an incident in the summer of 1989, when Sam was a Stern show regular. He was supposed to visit the studio with Bon Jovi, but (if I'm remembering it right) they blew Howard off, and did some other show instead, and Howard totally lost his mind. He went off on a vicious anti-Sam anti-Bon Jovi ("Bon Phony") tirade, and proclaimed that Dice was way better, and hurled all kinds of nasty personal insults at Kinison. Then Sam called in and they had a lengthy "dude man bro" fight that was eventually resolved. Stern slagged on Bon Jovi for years after that, though. Sam used to show up to do Stern totally gakked out of his mind from the night before, and sometimes he was totally out of control, acting like a madman.

Gilbert is hilarious in this.

 

[EraGodless]

Artie looks absolutely fucking grotesque. He looks worse than Anthony-- by a lot.

 

[EraGodless]

You can blame a lot of that on Stern. When Artie was left to his own devices he was funny on Stern. His drinking and gambling in Vegas. Him and Gilbert doing Robin's news and screaming. All of the crazy stories of his life he told. His fights with the staff. His ability to get on mic and interrupt Howard and not fear for his job. It all made for good radio. Artie was great on the show from 2001 to 2005. But everything after that was continually downhill until the implosion (too soon for implosion jokes?).

What happened in 2005?

A major problem with Artie is that Stern never really reigned him in and got him to be normal and just focus on the show. Just like Howard didn't really force Artie into rehab when he was obviously drinking or using drugs. Stern also didn't stop Artie from making Beer League which was clearly too much work for Artie to take on by himself and greatly affected him negatively. Howard always loathed when his guys would use his name to plug their side gigs. He hated when guys like Gary, Fred, John, and even Robin would use his name to get themselves work outside of the show. The only person to ever be allowed to basically plug everything was Jackie because he was a proven standup comic before working for Stern. And even then Jackie knew that he had to compete with the plugs of the other staff members and forced Tom Chiusano to write the plugs into this contracts.

But Howard always hated people using his name to pick up other gigs when they were already working for him full time. It was something that Howard was very consistent with from early KROCK days. Up until today. Yet, he let Artie pitch Beer League to literally every movie distribution company by saying "Look.....I'm on the Stern....the movie will make tons of money". And told Artie that he could make Beer League and work for the Stern Show and it would not be a problem. He made the exception for Artie which is something he didn't even do for Jackie or Billy.

We might not ever know the truth of what happened with Artie. But at some point he was producing and filming Beer League and he was having trouble concentrating on all of his work. So he began using cocaine heavily. Was it because of Beer League? Comedy gigs? He's just an asshole disgrace? We don't really know. But at some point he was doing Stern, standup comedy, and Beer League nonstop for months. According to Artie, so this might be a lie, he was at a comedy gig and asked someone to get him cocaine and they got him heroin instead. And he used the heroin thinking that it was cocaine. And when he asked the guy for more the guy said "I can hook you up with a heroin dealer". So Artie began using heroin from that point on. But this trusting a junkie's word so who knows.

Multiple people on set of Beer League thought Artie was on drugs. Stern staff members did. But Stern ignored all of their warning and basically said "mind your own business". And this was during 2005 when Artie was clearly messed up. And after years of him binge drinking during live appearances and showing he had no control over his alcohol intake. Someone from Beer League contacted Stern and the radio show and said that Artie was on drugs. And others threatened to walk off of Beer League unless Artie went to rehab. Stern knew about this and so did others from the show. But Artie refused rehab. Instead Artie began using Subutex pills and trying to ween himself off of heroin which bought him another few years of using without people fearing for his life. But he never was off heroin for more than a short period. Never sober.

And the drugs for Artie basically didn't stop until his suicide attempt and his nose looked like the Titan submersible (too soon?).

Imagine being too overworked because you're filming that piece of shit, Beer League. That movie fawkin sucks.

 

[EraGodless]

Billy West? More like Billy Old. Why did they use a clip from West that has be 15-20 years old?

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Imagine being too overworked because you're filming that piece of shit, Beer League. That movie fawkin sucks.

I really like that movie. Also it was a huge fight on the show between him and Howard because Howard was able to film his movie because they gave him a place to live right near the set whereas Beer League didn’t have the same budget or star power for that matter.

 

[EraGodless]

I really like that movie. Also it was a huge fight on the show between him and Howard because Howard was able to film his movie because they gave him a place to live right near the set whereas Beer League didn’t have the same budget or star power for that matter.

I'm in Eric the Midget's corner with regards to my feelings on Beer League. And I always thought it was odd that Norm didn't make atleast a cameo on it.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I'm in Eric the Midget's corner with regards to my feelings on Beer League. And I always thought it was odd that Norm didn't make atleast a cameo on it.

“YOU SUCKED ON MADTV! YOU SUCKED ON THE NORM SHOW! BEER LEAGUE SUCKED SHIT!” Sal

 

[LingerLonger]

The fact that Beer League essentially got its own roast is one of the all time best Stern related bits.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I remember Artie talking about when he got cast for Dirty Work and him, Norm, and Saget went out to a bar and played pool and Artie was told by Saget he can’t be doing coke since they were obviously all warned about his behavior. That might Artie bought blow from some guy who met him at the bar. He got lucky with being a coke head and hiding it on Dirty Work since they were actually much more worried about Farley’s drug use which killed him a few months later. Farley even had a drug bodyguard at the time but he was too distracted by actors and movie set to watch Farley who had people bringing him (and probably Artie) all kinds of shit for his short time on set.

Speaking of Farley, anyone ever see his last SNL hosted episode? It was like two months before he died and wow it’s hard to watch. The opening skit they make fun of him being an out of control addict then the rest of it he’s out of breath and sweating like crazy trying to perform. They had Chris Rock there to fill in at the last minute in case Farley couldn’t do it because of his bad health. He was only 33!

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I'm in Eric the Midget's corner with regards to my feelings on Beer League. And I always thought it was odd that Norm didn't make atleast a cameo on it.

Same here, I always thought Breuer’s cameo was meant for Norm since that would have been perfect for him.

 

[DooDooBrown]

Speaking of Farley, anyone ever see his last SNL hosted episode? It was like two months before he died and wow it’s hard to watch. The opening skit they make fun of him being an out of control addict then the rest of it he’s out of breath and sweating like crazy trying to perform. They had Chris Rock there to fill in at the last minute in case Farley couldn’t do it because of his bad health. He was only 33!

According to The Chris Farley Show, pretty much all of his friends were furious they even let him do the show in the condition he was in. He was taking oxygen backstage between sketches just to make it to through the show. There were two very physical sketches that Norm tried to get them to separate because he knew it would be hell on Farley, but Lorne was more worried about the flow of the show than Farley’s health.