Laugh it up fellas

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

1.) Nazis

2.) My wife left me for literally no reason at all and also she was pregnant and also my best friend took her from me. (Kohl's cash)

3.) Smart in School

4.) Nazis revisited

5.) Trump

6.) Trump continued as I shout over the guy that organized the open mic my special is being recorded at because I'm 20 minutes over my allotted five

 

[guest]

Elijah was a nice kid. When he came to meet me in my trailer, I was at the height of my glue addiction. I kept telling him he couldn't beat me at handball, he said "Whatever you say, Mr. Vigoda" and then I said "NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T!! YOU THINK YOURE BETTER THAN ME, RADIO FLYER??" and lunged at him with a glass.

I wasn't allowed to go near him unless the cameras were rolling after that. Kathy Bates had me charged with sexual harrassment because when I met her on the igloo set I said "Look at the size of you. I could fit my whole arm in your cunt." There was nothing sexual about it, I was just saying she's fat. Graham Greene beat the shit out of me for it too because he didn't like me calling him a wagon burner and a tobacco nigger all day.

You know the part where they put me in and ice chunk and send me drifting off? That wasn't special effects, they actually cast me out into the freezing sea to die on a fucking ice block. A leopard seal bit the tip of my pecker off and I had to have a very expensive surgery to have a black cadaver dick tip surgically attached... I don't want to talk about North anymore.

I love you Abe. Don't ever change.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I love you Abe. Don't ever change.

I love you too, sport.

 

[guest]

I love you too, sport.

Not sure if I mentioned it already but check out Come To Daddy if you haven't already. Horror comedy with Elijah playing a hipster douchebag. Weird and occasionally hilarious.

 

[guest]

it's a gay porn

The least watched gay porn ever. Even the most twisted, thirsty, feral homosexual man around would find Fat revolting.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Not sure if I mentioned it already but check out Come To Daddy if you haven't already. Horror comedy with Elijah playing a hipster douchebag. Weird and occasionally hilarious.

Yeah it's on the list, I still haven't sat down and watched it yet. I keep putting it in when I'm drunk and don't get far into it before I'm basically blacked out or asleep.

 

[guest]

Yeah it's on the list, I still haven't sat down and watched it yet. I keep putting it in when I'm drunk and don't get far into it before I'm basically blacked out or asleep.

Don't start drinking until Jethro turns up.

 

[guest]

I personally prefer the album after Stall Tactics

View attachment 5080

 

[MonsterSteve]

It's super fucking hilarious that he's not even in a stall. What an idiot.

 

[Cptbaldopie]

Until I was like 10 I thought retards were violent psychos to be feared. Everyone thinks down syndrome people are adorable but my first interaction with one scared the shit out of me.

I was in kindergarten and there was a problem with the toilet in the classroom so they had us going down the hall to the washrooms for everyone. I went in and there was a downs kid standing at the urinal with his pants pulled all the way down. He cornered me with his dick out and bitch slapped me for no reason and I booked it the fuck back to class bawling.

Later I got called out of class to meet him and his wrangler and she made him hug me and he wouldn't let go, which was also terrifying and grossed me out at the time.

A couple years later that same kid shit in a urinal and another time when we were older he wore jeans for the first time and couldn't get his dick back in his pants and was asking everyone who came into the bathroom for help.

Did we go to school together?

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

If anyone wanted buy one of his books to be a certified buyer and give a fair and accurate review on Amazon, if you buy a used copy, piggy won’t get a cent of your money and he can’t have your certified and accurate review taken down. Same for this sure to be piece of shit comedy album. Considering we’ve seen his standup comedy videos on his YouTube and he don’t even get golf claps from a non paying audience. Comedians on cruise ships get applause for knock knock jokes. Saw a guy who’s claim to fame was being in the background of an episode of the office do it on my last Royal Caribbean sailing. He got legit applause for a child’s joke. Pat can’t get get golf claps for shit he’s spent years “perfecting” in his head.