Has Patrick ever actually specified what martial art he trained in/instructed?

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Don’t forgot the knife tucked between his back folds in his sweat pocket above his swamp ass.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Tai Bloat

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Tai Bloat

Is that taught by Billy Flank Steaks?

 

[RedGlareRecipient]

A regular Chow Yun Very Fat

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

I was also a state champion in 4 weight classes in wrestling.

All at once

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

All at once

Of course, I beat all 4 opponents in one match child. Pinned them all at the same time.

 

[Will Tate]

His hands are actually deadly, but only when incompetently performing CPR.

 

[FurBurger]

He learnt the ancient art of "Mota Bevakooph" (मोटा बेवकूफ - Hindi, "Large Wise One") from the chef at a gas station Indian restaurant.

I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it, child - it's only entrusted to the most gifted and trustworthy of artists and intellectuals who can be trusted not to misuse its deadly secrets, and who have the $100 per lesson entry fee.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

As I’ve mentioned before, my dad teaches aikido and has for 40 years. It’s pretty useless unless you’re a cop or a bouncer or anything where you absolutely need to stay on your feet while controlling people who don’t really know how to fight. I started rolling BJJ pretty intensively during high school and still try to get it in whenever I can these days.

Do you know what nobody who credibly instructs martial arts ever looks or acts like? Any version of Pat.

 

[guest]

As I’ve mentioned before, my dad teaches aikido and has for 40 years. It’s pretty useless unless you’re a cop or a bouncer or anything where you absolutely need to stay on your feet while controlling people who don’t really know how to fight. I started rolling BJJ pretty intensively during high school and still try to get it in whenever I can these days.

Do you know what nobody who credibly instructs martial arts ever looks or acts like? Any version of Pat.

He's the consummate store front dojo guy. No doubt he went to some "Martial Arts" studio, the place where soccer mom's take their kids in the off season and it also attracts adults with the coordination of people with cerebral palsy, taught by a fat guy who learned a few moves while stationed in Okinawa for 7 months in in 1978. The instructor has a big beer belly, a ponytail, balding in front and wears a black satin jacket with a Jap flag, and some gook writing, that he thinks says something inspirational, but it actually says " the crane smells clouds in the water during the fall" or some other shitty translation as it mixes gook cultures together. Pat was impressed watching a guy that could eat the Golden Corral out of food, break a piece of balsa with his hand,

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

Tai Cheese

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

"Only one of us lies, stlaker. And it's just you."

"And"?

Anyway, Pat, people here have been clogging up archive dot org with page after page of proof that you lie all the time.
He lies on the internet while he lies on the couch.

 

[TokenX]

Infuriating how he just lies about shit nonstop.

 

[guest]

Infuriating how he just lies about shit nonstop.

It's psychotic. He doesn't even lie to get away with doing shit or to gain anything tangible. He lies because he needs people to think he's a tough guy pussy magnet with a successful career making tons of money.

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

He's the consummate store front dojo guy. No doubt he went to some "Martial Arts" studio, the place where soccer mom's take their kids in the off season and it also attracts adults with the coordination of people with cerebral palsy, taught by a fat guy who learned a few moves while stationed in Okinawa for 7 months in in 1978. The instructor has a big beer belly, a ponytail, balding in front and wears a black satin jacket with a Jap flag, and some gook writing, that he thinks says something inspirational, but it actually says " the crane smells clouds in the water during the fall" or some other shitty translation as it mixes gook cultures together. Pat was impressed watching a guy that could eat the Golden Corral out of food, break a piece of balsa with his hand,

This instructor lives in a nearby town to me. Calls himself Sensei Keith. Has faded USMC tats on his forearms and says he was in Okinawa in all his old posts on the local Topix (remember that shit?)

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Drunken Unboxing (of star wars memorabilia and shit books)

 

[Guyincognito]

Was Kung Food said yet? Also, if you get this dope to actually answer, I know a thing or two about MMA and most martial arts. I can sniff out a dirty fat lie from this porker

 

[GiveItAResto]

He trained Krav Maga in his imagination.

I think I've heard MMA fighters mocking Krav Maga because it's just a completely fake martial art that only works in extremely specific situations

 

[Uncle Floyd]

He trained Krav Maga in his imagination.

I think I've heard MMA fighters mocking Krav Maga because it's just a completely fake martial art that only works in extremely specific situations

Exactly. Krav Maga's a bunch of self-defense lessons. And the classes felt like CrossFit WODs for beginners.
They're fine, but like you said, krav's focused on extremely specific situations: a guy comes at you with a gun, two guys come at you with knives and bats, someone hits you from behind while sitting at a bar, you're pinned on the ground on your back. And if that was the case, I'd use what I know from BJJ. It can be worth knowing some of the tactics, for sure, but if I were the type to get into fights often (like Pat), I'd use what I know from BJJ 99% of the time and krav less than 1%.

(took a break from BJJ during the COVID year; tried krav maga for a bit)

 

[TorqueWheeler]

He trained Krav Maga in his imagination.

I think I've heard MMA fighters mocking Krav Maga because it's just a completely fake martial art that only works in extremely specific situations

It is indeed a complete joke the way it’s taught here.