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A Monday night. For fucks sake, at least pretend to have a job

Josef Kuminski

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If he had half a brain he'd drink alone at home for a fraction of the price rather than drinking alone surrounded by strangers. But no, he needs his hecking sports bar pictures for his online frat boy larp.

His social life was summed up in that one picture from Hoolies, where a visibly inebriated Pat, eyes half closed, was slurring inanities into the ear of an older gentleman, who was just trying to eat his dinner. Some rascal sent it to Fats on twitter and commented on how it looked like he was bothering the old fella, and Pig "No child"ed them and explained that was his good friend "Pete" or whatever. That's a "good friend" for Pat. Some dude who's too nice to tell him "will you leave me alone, I'm just trying to eat something here."
I think it has something to do with reading about authors like Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson and not actually reading them. There’s a romanticized version of these guys as hard drinking, gun carrying tough guys. Rick thinks he comes from a long line of great American authors.
 

Easily_Remembered

It looks like she don't have an ass crack lmao
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I think it has something to do with reading about authors like Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson and not actually reading them. There’s a romanticized version of these guys as hard drinking, gun carrying tough guys. Rick thinks he comes from a long line of great American authors.
Yeah, but they ( arguably ) wrote shit that was actually of quality. Since Pat can't ape their talent, he apes their characteristics.
 

CuntFucker .

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Pat is beloved

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Josef Kuminski

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Yeah, but they ( arguably ) wrote shit that was actually of quality. Since Pat can't ape their talent, he apes their characteristics.
That’s low IQ autism. Everything he says and does is a facsimile to human behavior. Imagine an adult alien trying to be human, that’s Rick. Humanity is such a foreign concept to him that he has to mimic other people, and when he does it’s like being in the uncanny valley.
 

DominusOdium

Unreasonably loud, boisterous and intoxicated
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I'm shocked they still haven't banned him.

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If he had gotten them in trouble like he did Hooligans for handing out customer information and received calls from journalists, police and funsters on the regular about one fat customer who picks fights online all day, they might've... but folks around here are long ago bored of faxing Pat's oral escapades with our once and future president... and Hooli's was the nicer place anyways.

In 2024 it's Hooli's for Owen forever and Pat never.

Curiously, where's all the stories of him acting as bouncer and throwing people out of the Garage? Schooling cis white males and right wing bitches for speaking up in HIS bar? Where's the stories of stopping robberies and carjackings with his wit and physical presence alone? He hasn't bragged about weekly handselling numbers at the Garage, and they don't seem to have a spot carved out for his laptop at the bar.

Why didn't his tough talking, coolest guy in the room, champion of the fag and tranny, don't fuck with that guy because he's full of meatloaf and testosterone persona translate to another bar? Thought you were the Ernest Hemingway and Hunter S Thompson of Milwaukee, Pat.

Or did Hoolis tell you on the way out that portraying their bar as a place full of fights, drunks, crime, cyberstlakers and regular stlakers where it's always slow enough a fat alcoholic can tweet on his laptop on the bar all day and you might get assaulted for voting the wrong way if you make it through the crime ridden street parking.. Maybe wasn't a great way to portray them in your fantasy world online as they broke the law and their credit card agreement to hand over information to you?
 
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Torque’sHeadBump

(Voluntarily) torqued boomer
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about authors like Hemingway and Hunter S. Thompson and not actually reading them.
Very astute.

Lol you think Rick can comprehend even a straight shooting (lol) Hemingway short story, let alone a more complex novel like For Whom the Bell Tolls? As if.

He thinks it’s cool that those guys were hard drinkers yet he seems to conveniently ignore (read: he has no fucking idea) how they actually have loads to say about how booze is nothing to be proud of.
 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
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Very astute.

Lol you think Rick can comprehend even a straight shooting (lol) Hemingway short story, let alone a more complex novel like For Whom the Bell Tolls? As if.

He thinks it’s cool that those guys were hard drinkers yet he seems to conveniently ignore (read: he has no fucking idea) how they actually have loads to say about how booze is nothing to be proud of.
Plus im sure at least Hemingway drank like a man - whiskey / scotch on the rocks or neat. Pat needs to drink his whiskey with mixers heavy on sugar like a girl.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
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That’s low IQ autism. Everything he says and does is a facsimile to human behavior. Imagine an adult alien trying to be human, that’s Rick. Humanity is such a foreign concept to him that he has to mimic other people, and when he does it’s like being in the uncanny valley.
He has been relegated to being a spectator in life. Outside his marriage, nobody wants to be around him.( understandable) . So he sits alone at a bar fantasizing about having a normal life.



 

Jenna

very demure very cutesy very mindful very modest
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I think Niki frequently kicks him out of the house for a couple hours. Especially now that half the hovel (or more) is an airbnb, you know he just pesters her all day with the same topics. Leslie is defaming me again! Robert is back and telling more lies!

Okay just take the credit card and go get some fucking drinks for like 2, 3 hours. Yes Patrick, he's illegally impersonating your little brother on social media, maybe take 4 hours.
 
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