How old are you? Seriously 35? So there is a 15 plus year gap. but what separates us the most is, I'm jaded about niggers and our culture dying, you're frustrated by seeming personal "failures", that doesn't mean you're a failure, but your personal condition bothers you more than the societal condition does. We both want better in both ways, but we focus on different things. I'm satisfied with my wealth, my kids are happy and good students, not pussies, my wife, well she'll soon be 40, so I have to think on that, lol, but I am happy with her and our relationship.
What I'm terrified of is, is where the childless Pat's are steering us and somehow they get deference on how our kids get educated. I would say your micro-issue me and I'm macro issue you. I like you, and you seem like a good guy, the best thing I can recommend is find a girl, one who likes some of what you do, have a few kids, focus on them while they're little, forget about the shit I care about like I did until my kids got to 9-10 or so. The mental healing will just happen. You'll be less self absorbed, less victim, less angry. It will all come back again but it will never be you caring just about you again.
Like Capra's why we fight the reasons are clear to me. I make a voice of one more valuable by engaging the Pat's and clearing my head of the propaganda (((they))) want me to feed my kids. Pat keeps the focus on my values I need to pass down, sharper, rather than more diluted. The past 2 and half years I have evolved in my beliefs. I no longer dismiss things as conspiracy that I formerly would have. I no longer think Epstein and that shit was all just retarded and mostly just Rich dudes banging whores, but rather probably an epicenter of ritualistic abuse. I don't dismiss Uncle Ted as quick as I did. I no longer think any militaristic adventurism is good (this one hits home), nor do I dismiss "anarchists" as being as foolish as i once did.
Pat would call my evolution radicalization, I call it awakening, it wasn't the retard Trump or stupid Q, but his side that awokened me to what I believe now.