Which one of you guys ordered pizzas to my house

[Brooke Shields]

He wants his pizza from one of those local joints that puts “crazy toppings” on their probably cardboard level pie to look hip. Pat really is a rube. Domino’s is probably better than that place and Dominos is at best a good chain pizza, but a mid pizza overall. It’s edible, it’s not offensive, and it tastes like pizza. This Ian’s Pizza is probably Midwest rube dreck.

6.1 says the pizza jew

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

6.1 says the pizza jew

Oh Dave went there huh. 6.1 is him being “nice”. So basically this pizza is garbage. Got it. Oh look their boxes have capeshit on them. No wonder man child Pat likes it.

 

[Cuphead]

6.1 says the pizza jew

Portnoy has shitty taste. He likes shitty thin crust crap.

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Portnoy has shitty taste. He likes shitty thin crust crap.

He always rates the shittiest looking Pizza 8 and above. If it was from New York and you mixed sawdust in with the sauce, as long as it was plain cheese, that moron would give it an 8.2 at least.

 

[TorpidSloth]

Having four beers a day probably isn't helping

Pat has four beers before 2 p.m.

 

[guest]

I just want a normal straight pizza for a normal straight person.

are you a delivery driver or are you buying the pizza for a friend?

 

[BigSexyDaddy123]

Portnoy has shitty taste. He likes shitty thin crust crap.

Thin crust is the best type of pizza. It's a pie not a sandwich, I don't want a mouthful of bread. Enjoy prison.

 

[WifeStoreWill]

Why would the pizzas even upset someone? If that happened to me I would either not answer the door or just tell them through the Nest cam that I didn’t order anything. That’s it.

It’s more of a prank against the pizza place, which is lame and unfunny.

 

[Kurt_Love]

Pat has an unoriginal take

View attachment 203065

Oscar told this joke during the lexi love dating game. Rick is really lingering longer.

 

[HoraceStanker]

I’ve always thought a great bit would be to keep sending him the most calorie dense and fattening foods ever and see how fast he could break 300lbs.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I’ve always thought a great bit would be to keep sending him the most calorie dense and fattening foods ever and see how fast he could break 300lbs.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

if anyone wants to send me pizzas, I'm cool with it

EDIT: I really should be careful what I wish for... I was only jokin'

Why do you make me do this, Pot?

 

[iBangedQuasi]

He always rates the shittiest looking Pizza 8 and above. If it was from New York and you mixed sawdust in with the sauce, as long as it was plain cheese, that moron would give it an 8.2 at least.

He rated a place near Dan a 9 or 10 and he wasn't wrong, I been there before! Honest!

 

[BigBeanFatty]

View attachment 203080
View attachment 203081View attachment 203082View attachment 203083

Some truely vile combinations. Where's Gordon Ramsay when you need him.

Mozzarella/pesto/feta? Butter/asiago/mozzarella/ranch?? Ranch/BBQ/bacon/cheddar/mozzarella???

It's one thing if you are a early 20s stoner or Sam Roberts, but a middle age man finding this appealing is unacceptable.

creme

bleu

Fuck off, you midwest rube. I hate the senseless use of French in culinary contexts. "Cream" and "blue" aren't good enough for your shitass flyover eatery?

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Fuck off, you midwest rube. I hate the senseless use of French in culinary contexts. "Cream" and "blue" aren't good enough for your shitass flyover eatery?

 

[BigBeanFatty]

He rated a place near Dan a 9 or 10 and he wasn't wrong, I been there before! Honest!

I really don't like Portnoy or Barstool, but my tastes typically align with his when it comes to American pizza styles (though I disagree with his dislike of Neapolitan and what he calls "artisan" pizza). Given that, I tried a place out near Detroit he gave a high 8 to when I was briefly living in SE MI for work. It was legitimately fantastic. Went back a few times and the guy hit it out of the park each time which is itself a big thing because consistency is often an issue at mom and pops.

 

[Africa.com]

View attachment 203064

That is one anemic looking pizza.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

I’ve always thought a great bit would be to keep sending him the most calorie dense and fattening foods ever and see how fast he could break 300lbs.

So you want him to lose weight?

 

[Turk February]

This isn't related to the post but I had nowhere else to put it

 

[BUBBLER]

This isn't related to the post but I had nowhere else to put it
View attachment 203451

You must not of been around in 2021 when we were microwave posting