Wackiest Patrick conspiracy theories?

[guest]

That’s a vein. He has high blood pressure

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

I’m 100% sure Rick has sexed the fuck out of way more hot chicks than all of us combined and I’ve had sex with people who are very famous now.

***Not a casting couch situation***

Insiide innnformaaaaationnnnn

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Insiide innnformaaaaationnnnn

I mean, smooth talk me in DM’s my dude but inching ever closer to completely doxxing myself is also on my mind.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

That’s a vein. He has high blood pressure

Mr Get Angry, Stay Angry has high blood pressure? Color me shocked.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Mental help professional Mama Raven did a lobotomy years ago at home when his bar fighting became a problem

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

I mean, smooth talk me in DM’s my dude but inching ever closer to completely doxxing myself is also on my mind.

No worries it was just a reference to a goofy ESPN show that I'm not even sure is still on the air.

I'll just assume it was the hottest amongst the Slitterati.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

No worries it was just a reference to a goofy ESPN show that I'm not even sure is still on the air.

I'll just assume it was the hottest amongst the Slitterati.

Hottest is subjective but I’d focus on hot but interesting and slightly fucked up.

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

Hopeful/wacky conspiracy theory: the rest of you motherfuckers are my favorite comedians skillfully hiding behind your VPNs.

Imagine the credits roll like:

@ChicopeeChip ............ Jim Gaffigan
@Twatsmash ............... Colin Quinn
@SmellenShoehorn ..... Robert Kelly
@I'llRoastYaFor$5 ........ Louis CK

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Hopeful/wacky conspiracy theory: the rest of you motherfuckers are my favorite comedians skillfully hiding behind your VPNs.

Imagine the credits roll like:

@ChicopeeChip ............ Jim Gaffigan
@Twatsmash ............... Colin Quinn
@SmellenShoehorn ..... Robert Kelly
@I'llRoastYaFor$5 ........ Louis CK

If only I was God tier.

 

[guest]

Hopeful/wacky conspiracy theory: the rest of you motherfuckers are my favorite comedians skillfully hiding behind your VPNs.

Imagine the credits roll like:

@ChicopeeChip ............ Jim Gaffigan
@Twatsmash ............... Colin Quinn
@SmellenShoehorn ..... Robert Kelly
@I'llRoastYaFor$5 ........ Louis CK

I doubt even Louis has the free time to post 85 threads a day

 

[EraGodless]

That Ade just cowed him into signing over complete and total parental rights.

I know St. PCJ said Fatrick was taking a "my way or the highway" approach, but that divorce was completed in a matter of weeks. There has to be something dark and disgusting for him to roll over like the Afghan Army.

He has straight up said that he's not legally allowed to know his daughter--- she didn't even bother to ding him for child support. Whatever pittance from his book sales & whatever else he did, simply wasn't worth having him in her or ~~his~~ PCJ's daughter's life.

 

[EraGodless]

Hopeful/wacky conspiracy theory: the rest of you motherfuckers are my favorite comedians skillfully hiding behind your VPNs.

Imagine the credits roll like:

@ChicopeeChip ............ Jim Gaffigan
@Twatsmash ............... Colin Quinn
@SmellenShoehorn ..... Robert Kelly
@I'llRoastYaFor$5 ........ Louis CK

Where's Pauly Shore?

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

Where's Pauly Shore?

Good job, weasel - you just doxxed yourself

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Hopeful/wacky conspiracy theory: the rest of you motherfuckers are my favorite comedians skillfully hiding behind your VPNs.

Imagine the credits roll like:

@ChicopeeChip ............ Jim Gaffigan
@Twatsmash ............... Colin Quinn
@SmellenShoehorn ..... Robert Kelly
@I'llRoastYaFor$5 ........ Louis CK

Fuck I need to lose some weight

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

Fuck I need to lose some weight

You're on your final 'fat'