SFWA’s featured book

[WifeStoreWill]

Congrats on the membership. Hildy!

 

[Treat Yourself]

I'd say the SFWA shouldn't promote the work of pedophiles but that's like saying shovels shouldn't be used to dig. It's what they were made for and all they do.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Even with that promotion he will maybe sell 15-20 total. Digital of course, nobody would waste money printing this shit. Just calling it “the Scotty” because DURR STAR TREK!!! is so embarrassing. Be funny if he got a cease and desist over copyright infringement.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

 

[wbgreen]

That is the cover of a quality book written by a professional and published by a real publisher.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Even with that promotion he will maybe sell 15-20 total. Digital of course, nobody would waste money printing this shit. Just calling it “the Scotty” because DURR STAR TREK!!! is so embarrassing. Be funny if he got a cease and desist over copyright infringement.

James Doohan's estate files an injunction to not associate him with this Faggotry.

 

[PogromStallone]

You could assemble a think tank of the world's greatest minds and they would never be able to figure out why a seasoned writer would choose that as the cover to his book.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He saw how retarded Pats books were and said " I can do that.."

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

We all know not even Pat will buy this bullshit.

 

[Faggot Boqposter]

Looks like the sfwa has helped him purge the felony 1 star reviews. Nice work Eric! Now your new book has no reviews and no ratings.

 

[The Talking Dead]

Looks like something a 12 year old would hand in for a school project.

 

[Момент Силышенко]

drug-abuse-tier thought experiment from a failed accountant and pederasty defender, stretched to book length. Like, imagine what you could do with this minor plot tool if you took it far too literally. He's the sort of faggot who says the invisible man would be blind, because soyence, and expects claps from the dysgenic freaks and captive schoolgirls in his basement.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

This book is undoubtedly better than anything Patrick has ever written despite being anywhere from shit to fucking shit

 

[Honey Badger]

Sci-fi fucking blows. A genre with unlimited potential and yet there’s like 4 or 5 shows, movies, video games worth seeing. The rest is SHIT

 

[Udders]

Wonder what the reviews say.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

This book is undoubtedly better than anything Patrick has ever written despite being anywhere from shit to fucking shit

At least Hildy didn’t set the book in space since that’s all Pat does.

 

[Jenna]

Wow that seems like an interesting premise, and as luck would have it I've got a few credits to burn. Lemme click on that "Learn More" link to purchase a copy...

Oops.

Hildy buddy, you wanna let SFWA know they got the wrong link?

 

[AliceWorquer]

This book is undoubtedly better than anything Patrick has ever written despite being anywhere from shit to fucking shit

You sure about that?

Private Journal, April 8, 104, A.T. [the year 2073, Gregorian]: My latest government assignment ordered me to the Peace Frog, which was a Mary Jane establishment in Pasadena, California. The air inside was filled with a thin haze caused by constantly smoking patrons and, because nearly all the gonge was flavored, the indoor fog smelled of berries, peppermint, chocolate, vanilla, as well as cannabis. It was a candy-chronic conglomeration; a reefer redolence; a pot-pourri. Like most marijuana bars, this one was a nostalgic dive into the 20th Century, when pot was actually illegal, and only rebels smoked it, as opposed to the young and well-heeled conformists who generally frequented here. So, naturally, someone like a middle-aged scientist, my target, stood out like a whole handful of sore thumbs.
I wish I could say my feminine wiles lured him in, but really all I needed to do was show up. He hit on me almost instantly and, when I didn’t actually run away like all the other women did, he opened up like a cave full of treasure to Ali Baba. In theory, my job was to get him talking, and keep him talking, until he accidentally gave us what we needed. In practice, it was damned near impossible to shut the motherfucker up. “That’s right,” the scientist slurred. “I invented the thing. I invented the Scotty. I get to say that because I was head of the department, you know. Pretty cool shit, right? But believe me, it wasn’t easy.” I tried to appear absent-minded as I listened to the condescending babble of this old fool who was high enough to paint stars. What a lame pick-up line, telling strange women that he was the one who actually invented the Scotty! He might as well claim to have invented Velcro. Okay, sure, he was telling the truth as it turned out (about inventing the Scotty, not about the Velcro), but I was the only one besides him who actually knew that. I’m also certain I was the only woman that line had ever worked on, and that only because I had to pretend it did. “You see,” he paused, taking a drag from some absurd miniaturized hookah, “the main problem was resolution. We were easily able to transport matter from point A to point B in an instant, but if we dematerialized, say, a block of stone, all we’d get when it re-materialized at its destination was a pile of sand. If we used a block of wood, all the receiving end got was something resembling sawdust.” “But then you realized that the process had to be fine-tuned to below the Planck-length level,” I completed the thought for him, trying to speed things along. His bloodshot eyes gave me a look of surprise. “How the hell did you know that?” “I was an engineering major. Besides, it isn’t like this stuff isn’t common knowledge, or anything.” That was certainly true, at least to a certain extent. Name a matter-transport device ‘The Scotty,’ after the Chief Engineer on the Starship Enterprise, and every science fiction geek will want to learn all about it, which they did, sort of. Truth be told, all the general public really knew was that the Scotty existed. Only the nerdiest nerds knew any details. He finally looked at my face instead of my tits for one damned second. “Oh,” he finally said. “That’s impressive, uh – sorry, sweetheart, what was your name again? I forgot.” “Sarita,” I answered, trying not to look annoyed as I offered him my hand. “Sarita Johansson.”

That's the opening. He called weed "gonge". And then it suddenly becomes apparent out of nowhere that the narrator who sounds like a middle aged atheist who has never been outside or had a real conversation isn't actually Eric hildeman, its just Eric Hildeman pretending to be a woman.
Even Patrick handles exposition and dialogue more naturally. It's disgusting how this man tries to Lord his intellect over anyone else.

 

[wbgreen]

Sci-fi fucking blows. A genre with unlimited potential and yet there’s like 4 or 5 shows, movies, video games worth seeing. The rest is SHIT

All the greats of science fiction -- Heinlein, Asimov, Clarke -- wrote well before Star Wars. Since then, too many sci-fi writers are making a movie premise instead of a book. Pat is bad at that, but he is just copying Jon Scalzi.

 

[WifeStoreWill]

Wonder what the reviews say.

I haven’t seen Poopballs weigh in yet. He’s one of the leading voices in literary criticism.