Rick's Nearly Missing Backyard Grill

[Jenna]

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So first it was the chairs that magically re-appeared in the backyard when a kiwi did reconnaissance. Then it was the paint can lightly dropped in his driveway. Now they're trying to steal his grill.

All this coincides with Niki and/or Lynne finally making him change his phone number, so his daily habit of telling harassers to enjoy prison is replaced by a new phone that never buzzes because he doesn't have any actual friends to text with. Lonely and missing the attention, his imagination starts to wander. This battle isn't over! They're escalating Lynne!

 

[JamesJCrowe]

Oh good lord they multiplied

The jannies are clearly in on it. Godspeed.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

That’s the cheapest chargrill on the market. It’s the Lowe’s private label.

He didnt even buy it new. Probably got it 2nd hand off facebook marketplace

 

[Farmer Brown]

Any chance the paint can wasn't him? Any at all? He can't stop bringing up the Nazi symbols he so desperately wants to make stick to a bunch of Panera Bread assistant managers and truckers on a radio show forum.

The paint can was 100 per cent not him.

 

[Clint Ruin]

The paint can was 100 per cent not him.

 

[Farmer Brown]

Retard

 

[DominusOdium]

The paint can was 100 per cent not him.

What'd I miss?

 

[FranksWirecutters]

We do love our cookouts

But do you bleach your chicken first?

Dannit, someone made the joke first but I'm still hitting post.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

It's really sad, it shows Pat has meager possessions

 

[SFWA liaison]

It's really sad, it shows Pat has meager possessions

your phone's voice-to-text must've misheard "nigger"

 

[iBangedQuasi]

The lightsaber chopsticks werent enough?

I have blocked those from my mind, child

 

[Clint Ruin]

Retard

That was directed at whoever actually did it, sped

 

[Lard Glug]

That’s the cheapest chargrill on the market. It’s the Lowe’s private label.

And he got it 2nd hand. Six figure author, everyone.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

 

[Udders]

Any chance the paint can wasn't him? Any at all? He can't stop bringing up the Nazi symbols he so desperately wants to make stick to a bunch of Panera Bread assistant managers and truckers on a radio show forum.

Everything involving Nazi symbols or references is always Pat because he doesn't know how to be funny with it. Even the stupid email he wrote himself was YouWillNeverFindMe1488. The least funny person here could come up with a hundred things funnier than that.

 

[Caverlock]

Let's imagine for a moment that everything Rick has ever said is true. People are SWAT-ing him, trying to get him killed, vandalizing his property, calling in bomb threats, putting his life and his family's life in danger. And these people are trolls who thrive on attention.

Now let's say they tried to prank him so that his property would be essentially stolen. Only it doesn't work. But also no one on earth--not even the troll who pulled the prank--knows that the prank didn't work. Do you:

A) quietly gather evidence and submit it to the authorities. Don't breathe a word about it to anyone other than the police and your ugly wife.

-or-

B) immediately plaster it all over social media, giving the trolls exactly what they want: attention, knowledge that they wasted your time, knowledge that they pissed you off, ideas for future bits.

Pat chooses B) every time. He's 1000% complicit in everything that happens to him. He's also a fat and ugly unemployed bum.

If people set rudimentary animal traps in his yard he would tweet selfies while still caught in them.

"Welp, currently tweeting from the bottom of a freshly dug pit. Turns out the plate of meatloaf sitting on palm fronds was bait placed by the Nazi terrorist stlaker cabal."

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

If people set rudimentary animal traps in his yard he would tweet selfies while still caught in them.

"Welp, currently tweeting from the bottom of a freshly dug pit. Turns out the plate of meatloaf sitting on palm fronds was bait placed by the Nazi terrorist stlaker cabal."

Felony shit covered punji sticks, stlaker

 

[CompoundBasement]

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He does not have a "garden". Calling that weed infested dumpster alleyway a "garden" is like calling Chicago's Cabrini Green "Mar-A-Lago".

 

[iBangedQuasi]

The least funny person here could come up with a hundred things funnier than that.

Just tag @Sue Lightning next time brotherman

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He does not have a "garden". Calling that weed infested dumpster alleyway a "garden" is like calling Chicago's Cabrini Green "Mar-A-Lago".

Its what brits call a backyard. He is a poser faggot.