REMINDER: There's no correlation between shows about how much respect one person gets

[HipTuckerCumia]

 

[Meownaw]

Riveting stuff.

 

[Gronez_Bambatta]

Fred from Brooklyn can recite the whole book verbatim

 

[ISO__JOE]

You know….us guys…. we need something to read on the pakowza. I gotta say I was sad when I finished it. I wish there was a Permanently Suspended 2.

 

[Gronez_Bambatta]

You know….us guys…. we need something to read on the pakowza. I gotta say I was sad when I finished it. I wish there was a Permanently Suspended 2.

Bukowza.. Be respectful.

 

[BootyJuice]

To the brothermen that actually read this, is it worse than Norton’s books or on par? I can’t imagine it being better.

 

[Cartoon Redux]

To the brothermen that actually read this, is it worse than Norton’s books or on par? I can’t imagine it being better.

Far worse. It's like his co-author just transcribed a recording of him talking verbatim and they published the first draft. Thankfully, it's short. I read it in half a day at work while doing other shit. In the publisher's defense, Nana probably didn't give them enough to work with.

 

[Zeroman]

To the brothermen that actually read this, is it worse than Norton’s books or on par? I can’t imagine it being better.

It’s revisionist history. Nana doesn’t really delve into things in too much detail but paints herself in a positive light because she’s still hilarious.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

REMINDER: AntH had TWO co-writers for that.

HA HA HOLE EE SHIT

 

[CruisinColin]

Three sentences that start with "one" on the same page. Almost all three in a row.

Didn't Nana have a whole tour planned for this novella but only did that one pathetic signing? The abject failure of this short story put her at least eight years closer to the grave.

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

Fred from Brooklyn can recite the whole book verbatim

Book? It's a glorified pamphlet

 

[Queefer Sutherland]

Why would I care about a drunk ginzo radio host's opinions? Politics is for fags.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Riveting stuff.

Happy, double bag it!

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Three sentences that start with "one" on the same page. Almost all three in a row.

Didn't Nana have a whole tour planned for this novella but only did that one pathetic signing? The abject failure of this short story put her at least eight years closer to the grave.

“We’re still working out the logistics of how to get signed copies out to fans” he once tweeted.

 

[HipTuckerCumia]

Cumia Book is printed using patented Immersive Translucent Technology™, offering a modern experimental reading experience, where you can read the text on the current page while subtly perceiving the words on the opposite side. It's a multi-dimensional literary dance with both sides of the page moving in perfect harmony.

 

[DooDooBrown]

“We’re still working out the logistics of how to get signed copies out to fans” he once tweeted.

Sign 20 books, put them in padded envelopes and mail them. How hard is that? Can I run your empire now, Nana?

 

[1950'sSpaceProgram]

Nice Scholastic books "picture in the middle of the page to grab attention", stupid.

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

To the brothermen that actually read this, is it worse than Norton’s books or on par? I can’t imagine it being better.

an excerpt:


General Broadcasting: The Anthony Cumia Story

The Rise-Fall, Rise, Fall-Rise, and Re-un-rising of The Notoriously Obscure Shock Jock









Copyright © 2018 by Antwan Kumiya
All rights reserved. Any part of this book may be reproduced or used in any

manner without written permission of the copyright owner and for the use of quotations in a book review.

FIRST EDITION









For Sue









Table of Contents





Chapter 1: Tunisia 2
Chapter 2: Insulation 11
Chapter 3: Name Changeover 16
Chapter 4: White Lies 22
Chapter 5: Oh Dara 27
Chapter 6: Meeting The Destroyer 35
Chapter 7: Opie and Anthony 43
Chapter 8: WBAB Years 47
Chapter 9: Obscurity part 1 51
Chapter 10: Howard Stern 55
Chapter 11: Sirius Radio 69
Chapter 12: Times Square Photography 76
Chapter 13: Vibrating Eggs 77
Chapter 14: The People's Court 102
Chapter 15: 2U: The Ultimate U2 Experience 108
Chapter 16: Obscurity part 2 111
Chapter 17: Compound Media 113
Chapter 18: Further Obscurity 118
Chapter 19: Rekindling with the Ope-miester 120
Chapter 20: Graduation to Tranthony 130
Chapter 21: r/opieandanthony 155
Chapter 22: Embracing Obscurity 177









Prologue





Growing up in the Tunisian tar mining town of obscurity, Anthony Cumias radio time is noted for his Andrew Dice Gay character and pioneering of the using of the phrase “HAHAHA holy shit!” in the context of sitting next to Patrice O' Neal on many occasions and more often Worm Norton. He was plucked out of working in attics boning insulation by The Destroyer and is Tunisian. To become friends with Sue Lightning right before she put her tits in. Vibrating egg livestream. Broken hand lady. Illegal gun possession? Reddit? Twitter?

 

[satanssockpuppet]

He fills his book with the same tedious old rehashed "remember when? stories, then adorns it with a cover so hideous and so revolting that it ensured no sane adult would even consider having it in their home. Seriously, would you put that on a bookshelf full of books you actually liked? It'd be so embarrassing for guests to see as well.

"Huh, "Permanently Suspended" by Anthony Cumia. Wonder what that's all about....AHHHH! Oh my God, that guy's face is SCARY! What IS this book?"

(Quickly grabbing book from guest's hands) "Uh, no, it's nothing, it's just a joke, a gag gift someone got me, I've really been meaning to throw it out" (runs to garbage can outside, thrusts book deeply into trash).

 

[THE D]

"Radio's Most Notorious Shock Jock"

???? Does Anthony think he's literally Howard Stern? I know he copied his voice for years. But does he truly believe that he is Stern? Or does he actually think anyone knows him without the name OPIE in front of it?

If anything, Anthony was one half of Radio's Most Notorious Shock Jock DUO... Look at this little faggot pretending he's somebody.

Meanwhile, Auntie attacks Opie for changing the name of the SXM channel to "Opie Raqio"... Hey dumbass, that's literally what the channel was: Opie doing Radio. DId you want them to keep calling it Opie & Anthony...?

Meanwhile meanwhile, when Opie Raqio played Anthony clips, he got pissy and whined about it on his basement podcast so Opie stopped the classic show replays.