Reminder: Pat drank Mountain Dew every day for 20 years lol

[RoTheHo69]

Actually some scotch whiskey producers age their whiskey in barrels they leave outside, and the salty air from the north sea penetrates the wood and gives the whiskey a salty flavour. This whiskey, being aged on a container ship would naturally taste of diesel fumes.

Probably some Guatemalan crew hands pissing right in the corner near the barrels too.

 

[guest]

Fat Pat claims he doesn't wear underwear because it's too restrictive, but we all know he has a micropenis, does nothing but lie on his couch/bed all day, and wears clothes that are skin tight (although they aren't supposed to be because he's a big fat pig). Doesn't make sense. Why does he really avoid underwear?

Jon probably didn't because he couldn't find any brand in any size that could comfortably harness the elephant's trunk he calls a penis. Fat probably found out about this (hopefully it was yelled at him by Ade) and can't let it go. Seared into his mind, he claims it as something he does in a desperate and futile bid to soothe his wounded ego.

 

[guest]

I remember hearing that too, it’s funny looking back on a time not long ago before the Internet being so available and rumors weren’t questioned haha

Ones I remember were that those candy "Nerds" had a batch filled with glass and some kid had shredded his mouth to pieces after chuckling half the pack down. Don't swim an hour after eating or you'll drown. My personal favourite, always check the ingredients on everything, if it has the E number E123 on it, don't eat it because it will kill you instantly.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Ones I remember were that those candy "Nerds" had a batch filled with glass and some kid had shredded his mouth to pieces after chuckling half the pack down. Don't swim an hour after eating or you'll drown. My personal favourite, always check the ingredients on everything, if it has the E number E123 on it, don't eat it because it will kill you instantly.

Back then there was always weird celebrity ones (no Internet) I remember hearing screech was dead in the 90s and other random tv actors. I think the last one before the Internet was that Marilyn Manson was actually the kid who played Paul on the Wonder Years.

 

[guest]

When I was in middle school the rumor was Dew lowered your sperm count. And apparently it's retroactive, cause he lost his daughter after she'd already been born.

I regret I have but one rib to give.

 

[Brooke Shields]

Gamer Fuel child

Gomer fuel

 

[guest]

Corn for breakfast, a daily Mountain Dew, and meatloaf for dinner. To call him white trash would be redundant at this point.

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

I'm fairly sure he drank this shit for breakfast too because he has said he only started drinking tea after he quit The Dew. Also, a reminder that big boy drinks like coffee don't agree with Rick's delicate tummy.

Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in!

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

Fun fact: a can of Mountain Dew has even more sugar in it than Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper etc. with 46 grams of sugar versus 40.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that it's virtually impossible to drink this shit on a daily basis and NOT be fat. Realistically, you probably couldn't even exercise the fat off because 46 grams of sugar converts to so much body fat, and it compounds day after day because of things like insulin resistance etc.

HE'S FAT!!

 

[FLUUUID]

HE'S FAT!!

Not by any biblical definition

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Actually some scotch whiskey producers age their whiskey in barrels they leave outside, and the salty air from the north sea penetrates the wood and gives the whiskey a salty flavour. This whiskey, being aged on a container ship would naturally taste of diesel fumes.

That's why he likes it so much - it has hints of oak and human trafficking

 

[A House Nigger]

When I was in middle school the rumor was Dew lowered your sperm count.

same where I live, it did that and shrunk your dick

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Fat Pat claims he doesn't wear underwear because it's too restrictive, but we all know he has a micropenis, does nothing but lie on his couch/bed all day, and wears clothes that are skin tight (although they aren't supposed to be because he's a big fat pig). Doesn't make sense. Why does he really avoid underwear?

It’s because he refuses to admit he’s a big fat slob who has gained at least 50lbs in the last few years so, much like his t-shirts, he’s still wearing the same size he did in grade school.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

same where I live, it did that and shrunk your dick

This dick shrinking thing would explain a lot about Notrick.

 

[guest]

Fun fact: a can of Mountain Dew has even more sugar in it than Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper etc. with 46 grams of sugar versus 40.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that it's virtually impossible to drink this shit on a daily basis and NOT be fat. Realistically, you probably couldn't even exercise the fat off because 46 grams of sugar converts to so much body fat, and it compounds day after day because of things like insulin resistance etc.

HE'S FAT!!

It’s possible. Not proud of it but I drank that shit daily for about 20 years as well because I don’t like coffee. But I also exercise.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

I remember hearing that too, it’s funny looking back on a time not long ago before the Internet being so available and rumors weren’t questioned haha

And today people still don’t question anything they hear. Like theres this weird rumor going around that everyone should stand 6 feet apart from each other to prevent spread of disease

 

[guest]

Fat Pat claims he doesn't wear underwear because it's too restrictive, but we all know he has a micropenis, does nothing but lie on his couch/bed all day, and wears clothes that are skin tight (although they aren't supposed to be because he's a big fat pig). Doesn't make sense. Why does he really avoid underwear?

Oh dear god why would he even share this information?

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

It’s possible. Not proud of it but I drank that shit daily for about 20 years as well because I don’t like coffee. But I also exercise.

Damn, how much did you have a day?

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I have a major aversion to soft drinks in general, but Mountain Dew is especially disgusting. I don't even get what the flavor is supposed to be. Vaguely citrusy and sickeningly sweet.

Seriously, if I drink a can of Mountain Dew, I'd feel like I drank battery acid for the rest of the day and I'd get the shits. I pretty much only drink water. I don't even do coffee or anything.

 

[guest]

I have a major aversion to soft drinks in general, but Mountain Dew is especially disgusting. I don't even get what the flavor is supposed to be. Vaguely citrusy and sickeningly sweet.

Seriously, if I drink a can of Mountain Dew, I'd feel like I drank battery acid for the rest of the day and I'd get the shits. I pretty much only drink water. I don't even do coffee or anything.

It's gross. The colour alone is a warning, like a toadstool mushroom, "do not consume me, nothing this brightly coloured should be ingested by humans."

I'm proud that my 6 year old son is a weird kid who pretty much only drinks water. He'll drink chocolate milk sometimes but doesn't like juice or soft drinks at all. His face when he tried Coke. He winced like most kids would if they drank lemon juice and just said "it's sweet," like it was a bad thing. Which is weird because he likes chocolate and candy as much as the next kid, just won't fuck with sugary drinks.