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Owen A. Forms Presents: Pump It

Patrick O'Neal

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34,914
I can't help but notice the way he says "I was taking up shirt - up SKIRT! - photographs" showing yet another Freudian slip that reveals the true direction of his sexual interest and intent.

The patient struggles to even vocalize the thought of taking a photograph up a woman's skirt. Instead his mind reaches for the next most acceptable image - that of a tempting glimpse up a man's shirt. He corrects himself of course, as he corrects his own subconscious desires every time they arise.

I would diagnose a deeply closeted homosexual. The kind of man who would marry quickly to conform to society's standard for a normal male - to be married to a woman of course!

But to be in a long-term sexual relationship with a woman will be sadly impossible for this individual. Any wife would be forced to either leave him for a more sexually functional male, or relegate him to a non-sexual space such as a spare room or perhaps a blanket-covered couch.

A colleague of mine wrote his dissertation on gay bikers of the 1980s, would you believe! The overly "masculine" archetype of the leather-clad biker taming the beast of the motorcycle (his own questionable sexuality), growing a moustache in the shape of the handlebars and all the other tropes of the gay biker from the Village People were explored better than I can surmise in a short post. Suffice it to say, I wouldn't be surprised if this subject was fascinated by motorcycles, and transferred his entirely sexual desires towards other males to the emotional conquest of them through embarrassment and fury.

It is also highly probably he is overweight.
 

JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler

Grand Cyclops of the Digital Ku Klux Klan
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48,765
Don't forget he's also a jiu jitsu expert. So he can chase you down for miles then tie you in knots. He's a total badass.

This video is another masterpiece.
Someone ask where he trains. Because if he's not actively training no way is he anything like an expert, it's a perishable skill. And most BJJ guys don't WANT to stop training. Oh also ask him his belt level. I can just see Patrick googling the belts with a stupid look on his face wondering how high he could fake being.
 
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27,752
Someone ask where he trains. Because if he's not actively training no way is he anything like an expert, it's a perishable skill. And most BJJ guys don't WANT to stop training. Oh also ask him his belt level. I can just see Patrick googling the belts with a stupid look on his face wondering how high he could fake being.
Fatso would do his lie-by-technicality bit and say something like "I've been training BJJ since 2007" when the truth is he took one class 15 years ago and never went back because all the white belts choked him with his own jowls.

He did the same thing when fatly discussing first aid. "Been CPR certified for 20 years" implying that he's kept it up to date when in reality he took the day-long course once when he was a teenager and it has long since lapsed.
 
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That little gesture he does when he says "before I do my weight training".

He is 100% a homosexual.
He's into some things...

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