How did Artie last so long at Stern?

[Sue Lightning]

Being a literal on air junkie, and all.

It seems that in those last years all he did was show up with some Steve C level plate of food (big ass tupperware of lasagna and 2 burgers) and just eat on air and not contribute. Then he’d lay on the floor or nod off. Even after attempting to assault an employee he faced no reprecussions.

Legitimately how? Did corporate not notice or care? Give him too many chances? Help.

 

[Sexual_Tyrannosaurus]

He was even worse when he'd get coked out and not shut the fuck up.

 

[UnPRePared]

Howard loved to call people "enablers" all the time. Did it constantly in the 90's and 2000's, clearly a word he learned in therapy.

My word for him is "projection".

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

it obviously seems like he would've been better as a non-junkie... but I kinda get it.

Most people know I had my issues (I'm fine now btw)... but creativity it can work for people being 'off their tits', not saying it's the best way to be, but I get how he was funny - even if he would've been funnier sober (debatable).

Anyways don't be mean to me - I'm no Artie / other musician, I get it!! no need to remind me that I'm shit!

 

[Sue Lightning]

it obviously seems like he would've been better as a non-junkie... but I kinda get it.

Most people know I had my issues (I'm fine now btw)... but creativity it can work for people being 'off their tits', not saying it's the best way to be, but I get how he was funny - even if he would've been funnier sober (debatable).

Anyways don't be mean to me - I'm no Artie / other musician, I get it!! no need to remind me that I'm shit!

My question is literally just how did he stay so long on air being a literal drug addict who couldn’t perform at his job?

If you showed up to your job strung out with a big plate of food and did no work you would get fired on the spot. If you tried assaulting a coworker you would go to jail.

So seriously, how did he last so long? Someone pls answer..

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

My question is literally just how did he stay so long on air being a literal drug addict who couldn’t perform at his job?

If you showed up to your job strung out with a big plate of food and did no work you would get fired on the spot. If you tried assaulting a coworker you would go to jail.

So seriously, how did he last so long? Someone pls answer..

I'll give you legit answer:

There is a kinda funny charm (especially blue-collar) to being a junkie, & it appeals to that low-brow humour.
Obviously Artie's schtick became repetitive/redundant before long, but he had that blue-collar humour which worked for a while.

He had plenty of (probably unfulfilled) potential (due to drugs, etc), but he fitted the demographics of Howard at the time; mainly blue collar / working men stuff.

Artie was good at his position with Howard, but I think that was it, & even his time at Compound showed he didn't have much else to offer

 

[Camel Clutch]

Howard had control over if his employees were fired and he didn't want him fired. He only was placed on leave because he embarrassed Howard in front of 50 cent.

 

[LingerLonger]

Why did Artie last so long at Stern? This is off the top of my head so some of it might be wrong.

First was that Artie's first full time day was 9/12/2001 and the show had other things to talk about than Artie's drug history. The first year that Artie was on was mostly the show transitioning to having a new team of writers lead by Benjy to replace Jackie. Then Artie would replace Jackie as the on air third microphone, but he was very timid for the first two years or so. It was not until 2003 when he started becoming the main person on the show and booking six figure standup shows and breaking out of his shell. And a lot of that newfound confidence was because of Jack and Cokes and not comedy. And it was not until 2005 and Beer League that he started showing signs of being a junkie like his MadTV days. He mostly flew under the radar until 2003.

Secondly was that the fans liked Artie more than they liked Stern. Firing Artie during the 2004-2006 years would have destroyed the show. There were polls on SFN and other sites about who the fans had as their favorite cast member. Artie won all of them. It was obvious that Artie was a junkie in 2004 at the very least if not before. But the Beer League saga in 2005 and 2006 made it beyond obvious that Artie was using heroin. Artie's first sick day from drugs on Stern was January 31st, 2005. From late 2005 to January of 2007 he was taking pills to curb his drug addiction but would miss a lot of work using Beer League as his excuse. He stopped the pills in 2007 and started missing work like crazy again. Each month he would get progressively more angry and miserable.

In late 2007 he would start getting violent. Fighting with Sal and Gary and others. He was also using heroin around the clock and bringing in junkies and dealers into the Sirius building. As well as having dealers visit his house and apartment nonstop and even travel to standup gigs with him to make sure he had his next fix. In early 2008 he would fight with Teddy on air and have a manic episode accusing his assistant of stealing his money. This fight turned violent and Artie quit the show but would be back the next week having cooled down. Less than one month later Artie would miss work and come back with a giant gash on his face claiming he walked into a medicine cabinet or something ridiculous instead of the truth being that he got into a drug related assault. At this point 99% of fans knew that Artie was on heroin and some of the staff would talk to fans under anonymous names on social media or forums telling people that they were distressed that Artie was not being fired because of his dangerous he was making the office.

2009 had Artie missing work right and left. Fighting with staff. The infamous Joe Buck Live appearance where he's on heroin on HBO being watched by millions. Artie would get a DUI during this period. And also release his standup DVD which would be the top selling standup album that year. Artie would get caught allegedly sneaking in heroin in the Sirius building and be secretly ordered to rehab. Artie went to a 'rehab' clinic for celebrities in Florida where he partied on a yacht for a week then came back to NYC on drugs once again.

In December of 2009 Artie is showing up to work on heroin and booze every single day. And snorting heroin in the Sirius stairwells and restrooms every single morning. Sirius finally tells him to go to rehab and not return until he has completed a one month in patient rehab program. Artie goes to rehab for one day and quits. Goes home and stabs himself repeatedly in the stomach and pours bleach all over his stab wounds. His mother is outside of his home trying to force her in way in when he does this because Colin Quinn and Artie's family are waiting to stage an intervention. Artie is taken to a hospital and chained to the bed as a suicide risk. Sirius management visit Artie in the hospital and tell him when he's discharged he can return to the show. At this point several Stern staff members threaten to sue Howard and Sirius if Artie is allowed in the building again. Artie is officially fired from Stern and Sirius silently and his name is almost never mentioned on the show from 2011 and onward. Nearly all Stern Best Of Shows have zero mentions of Artie and they routinely edit out Artie's voice or laughs from old shows.

Why did Stern keep Artie around for so long? No one knows for sure. Laziness of having him replaced. An insult to Jackie Martling and not admitting that Artie wasn't a good fit compared to him. Stern not being confrontational. Fans loving Artie more than anything else on the show. Artie actually being funny for his first few years. Probably a combination of everything.

It's also probably that Artie is a master manipulator. He fooled MadTV into bringing him back after drug problems. He fooled Norm into working with him even after stealing $120,000 from him. Artie was a classic junkie liar who could fool anyone into trusting him.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Legitimately how? Did corporate not notice or care? Give him too many chances? Help.

does it bother you... that some loser junkie actually does better? & you end-up just living in loserville despite being kinda funny? It don't seem right, right?

LOL! I'm only messin'

You seem happier than the likes of me, & I'm jealous as fuck! (I'm sober now btw, saying 'well done' would make me happy) - but it's fine!

 

[Sue Lightning]

Why did Artie last so long at Stern? This is off the top of my head so some of it might be wrong.

First was that Artie's first full time day was 9/12/2001 and the show had other things to talk about than Artie's drug history. The first year that Artie was on was mostly the show transitioning to having a new team of writers lead by Benjy to replace Jackie. Then Artie would replace Jackie as the on air third microphone, but he was very timid for the first two years or so. It was not until 2003 when he started becoming the main person on the show and booking six figure standup shows and breaking out of his shell. And a lot of that newfound confidence was because of Jack and Cokes and not comedy. And it was not until 2005 and Beer League that he started showing signs of being a junkie like his MadTV days. He mostly flew under the radar until 2003.

Secondly was that the fans liked Artie more than they liked Stern. Firing Artie during the 2004-2006 years would have destroyed the show. There were polls on SFN and other sites about who the fans had as their favorite cast member. Artie won all of them. It was obvious that Artie was a junkie in 2004 at the very least if not before. But the Beer League saga in 2005 and 2006 made it beyond obvious that Artie was using heroin. Artie's first sick day from drugs on Stern was January 31st, 2005. From late 2005 to January of 2007 he was taking pills to curb his drug addiction but would miss a lot of work using Beer League as his excuse. He stopped the pills in 2007 and started missing work like crazy again. Each month he would get progressively more angry and miserable.

In late 2007 he would start getting violent. Fighting with Sal and Gary and others. He was also using heroin around the clock and bringing in junkies and dealers into the Sirius building. As well as having dealers visit his house and apartment nonstop and even travel to standup gigs with him to make sure he had his next fix. In early 2008 he would fight with Teddy on air and have a manic episode accusing his assistant of stealing his money. This fight turned violent and Artie quit the show but would be back the next week having cooled down. Less than one month later Artie would miss work and come back with a giant gash on his face claiming he walked into a medicine cabinet or something ridiculous instead of the truth being that he got into a drug related assault. At this point 99% of fans knew that Artie was on heroin and some of the staff would talk to fans under anonymous names on social media or forums telling people that they were distressed that Artie was not being fired because of his dangerous he was making the office.

2009 had Artie missing work right and left. Fighting with staff. The infamous Joe Buck Live appearance where he's on heroin on HBO being watched by millions. Artie would get a DUI during this period. And also release his standup DVD which would be the top selling standup album that year. Artie would get caught allegedly sneaking in heroin in the Sirius building and be secretly ordered to rehab. Artie went to a 'rehab' clinic for celebrities in Florida where he partied on a yacht for a week then came back to NYC on drugs once again.

In December of 2009 Artie is showing up to work on heroin and booze every single day. And snorting heroin in the Sirius stairwells and restrooms every single morning. Sirius finally tells him to go to rehab and not return until he has completed a one month in patient rehab program. Artie goes to rehab for one day and quits. Goes home and stabs himself repeatedly in the stomach and pours bleach all over his stab wounds. His mother is outside of his home trying to force her in way in when he does this because Colin Quinn and Artie's family are waiting to stage an intervention. Artie is taken to a hospital and chained to the bed as a suicide risk. Sirius management visit Artie in the hospital and tell him when he's discharged he can return to the show. At this point several Stern staff members threaten to sue Howard and Sirius if Artie is allowed in the building again. Artie is officially fired from Stern and Sirius silently and his name is almost never mentioned on the show from 2011 and onward. Nearly all Stern Best Of Shows have zero mentions of Artie and they routinely edit out Artie's voice or laughs from old shows.

Why did Stern keep Artie around for so long? No one knows for sure. Laziness of having him replaced. An insult to Jackie Martling and not admitting that Artie wasn't a good fit compared to him. Stern not being confrontational. Fans loving Artie more than anything else on the show. Artie actually being funny for his first few years. Probably a combination of everything.

It's also probably that Artie is a master manipulator. He fooled MadTV into bringing him back after drug problems. He fooled Norm into working with him even after stealing $120,000 from him. Artie was a classic junkie liar who could fool anyone into trusting him.

ME: THANK YOU!!!

I was unironically hoping for someone to type an essay

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

ME: THANK YOU!!!

I was unironically hoping for someone to type an essay

sorry that 'succinct' is my middle name

I thought I wrote a reasonable thing... FUCK YOU, bitch!

(obviously joking BTW)

 

[iFapToJusticeGorak]

Why did Artie last so long at Stern? This is off the top of my head so some of it might be wrong.

First was that Artie's first full time day was 9/12/2001 and the show had other things to talk about than Artie's drug history.

How the hell do you know all this?

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Why did Artie last so long at Stern? This is off the top of my head so some of it might be wrong.

First was that Artie's first full time day was 9/12/2001 and the show had other things to talk about than Artie's drug history. The first year that Artie was on was mostly the show transitioning to having a new team of writers lead by Benjy to replace Jackie. Then Artie would replace Jackie as the on air third microphone, but he was very timid for the first two years or so. It was not until 2003 when he started becoming the main person on the show and booking six figure standup shows and breaking out of his shell. And a lot of that newfound confidence was because of Jack and Cokes and not comedy. And it was not until 2005 and Beer League that he started showing signs of being a junkie like his MadTV days. He mostly flew under the radar until 2003.

Secondly was that the fans liked Artie more than they liked Stern. Firing Artie during the 2004-2006 years would have destroyed the show. There were polls on SFN and other sites about who the fans had as their favorite cast member. Artie won all of them. It was obvious that Artie was a junkie in 2004 at the very least if not before. But the Beer League saga in 2005 and 2006 made it beyond obvious that Artie was using heroin. Artie's first sick day from drugs on Stern was January 31st, 2005. From late 2005 to January of 2007 he was taking pills to curb his drug addiction but would miss a lot of work using Beer League as his excuse. He stopped the pills in 2007 and started missing work like crazy again. Each month he would get progressively more angry and miserable.

In late 2007 he would start getting violent. Fighting with Sal and Gary and others. He was also using heroin around the clock and bringing in junkies and dealers into the Sirius building. As well as having dealers visit his house and apartment nonstop and even travel to standup gigs with him to make sure he had his next fix. In early 2008 he would fight with Teddy on air and have a manic episode accusing his assistant of stealing his money. This fight turned violent and Artie quit the show but would be back the next week having cooled down. Less than one month later Artie would miss work and come back with a giant gash on his face claiming he walked into a medicine cabinet or something ridiculous instead of the truth being that he got into a drug related assault. At this point 99% of fans knew that Artie was on heroin and some of the staff would talk to fans under anonymous names on social media or forums telling people that they were distressed that Artie was not being fired because of his dangerous he was making the office.

2009 had Artie missing work right and left. Fighting with staff. The infamous Joe Buck Live appearance where he's on heroin on HBO being watched by millions. Artie would get a DUI during this period. And also release his standup DVD which would be the top selling standup album that year. Artie would get caught allegedly sneaking in heroin in the Sirius building and be secretly ordered to rehab. Artie went to a 'rehab' clinic for celebrities in Florida where he partied on a yacht for a week then came back to NYC on drugs once again.

In December of 2009 Artie is showing up to work on heroin and booze every single day. And snorting heroin in the Sirius stairwells and restrooms every single morning. Sirius finally tells him to go to rehab and not return until he has completed a one month in patient rehab program. Artie goes to rehab for one day and quits. Goes home and stabs himself repeatedly in the stomach and pours bleach all over his stab wounds. His mother is outside of his home trying to force her in way in when he does this because Colin Quinn and Artie's family are waiting to stage an intervention. Artie is taken to a hospital and chained to the bed as a suicide risk. Sirius management visit Artie in the hospital and tell him when he's discharged he can return to the show. At this point several Stern staff members threaten to sue Howard and Sirius if Artie is allowed in the building again. Artie is officially fired from Stern and Sirius silently and his name is almost never mentioned on the show from 2011 and onward. Nearly all Stern Best Of Shows have zero mentions of Artie and they routinely edit out Artie's voice or laughs from old shows.

Why did Stern keep Artie around for so long? No one knows for sure. Laziness of having him replaced. An insult to Jackie Martling and not admitting that Artie wasn't a good fit compared to him. Stern not being confrontational. Fans loving Artie more than anything else on the show. Artie actually being funny for his first few years. Probably a combination of everything.

It's also probably that Artie is a master manipulator. He fooled MadTV into bringing him back after drug problems. He fooled Norm into working with him even after stealing $120,000 from him. Artie was a classic junkie liar who could fool anyone into trusting him.

Brief

 

[Sue Lightning]

Why did Stern keep Artie around for so long? No one knows for sure. Laziness of having him replaced. An insult to Jackie Martling and not admitting that Artie wasn't a good fit compared to him. Stern not being confrontational. Fans loving Artie more than anything else on the show. Artie actually being funny for his first few years. Probably a combination of everything.

I don’t think i’m surprised that Howard didn’t do anything - He would be fine if Artie OD’d in studio if it meant the money keeps coming in. What I really question is how MANAGEMENT didn’t give a fuck. This is a company and so it’s all $$$. They were probably paying this dude six figures to be on their biggest show and for a good year or two he wasn’t contributing anything and fucking off from the show. I have no idea how they didn’t see the negative return on investment or the increasing liability he was posing. We all know how Norton almost lost his job doing the same shit at Krock, so i’m more confused how Artie kept his job doing even worse shit.

But then again management is retarded. I was thinking about this the other day reading the Wackbag forums from Anthonys Times Square escapade:

Do I believe management was concerned about Anthonys race rants? Yes. But I also think they had no idea what was being said or how much was being said. They caught a few minutes of another Trayvon rant and cringed but thought it was a quick thing. Plus no one was listening to O&A to where they would reach out to the company based on the crazy shit Ant was saying. HOWEVER, one he tweeted all that shit about the black hooker, Gawker and other websites started asking people for more info on Anthonys racist rants. When they found them, SXM got a tasteeee of just how much race rants there were and how much shit was being said and they couldn’t ignore it anymore.

My point is that I have no doubt management didn’t know half of the shit Artie was doing simply because they weren’t listening or no one was telling them it was happening.

 

[BoringFaggot]

My question is literally just how did he stay so long on air being a literal drug addict who couldn’t perform at his job?

If you showed up to your job strung out with a big plate of food and did no work you would get fired on the spot. If you tried assaulting a coworker you would go to jail.

So seriously, how did he last so long? Someone pls answer..

What work was he supposed to do you dumb fuck? All he did was make inane comments/jokes on the air from day 1...

 

[Sue Lightning]

What work was he supposed to do you dumb fuck? All he did was make inane comments/jokes on the air from day 1...

Yes. And he couldn’t even do that half the time because he was so fucked up. So he wasn’t doing his work.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

does it bother you... that some loser junkie actually does better? & you end-up just living in loserville despite being kinda funny? It don't seem right, right?

LOL! I'm only messin'

You seem happier than the likes of me, & I'm jealous as fuck! (I'm sober now btw, saying 'well done' would make me happy) - but it's fine!

This what any of you are proud of?

 

[wbgreen]

I don’t think i’m surprised that Howard didn’t do anything - He would be fine if Artie OD’d in studio if it meant the money keeps coming in. What I really question is how MANAGEMENT didn’t give a fuck. This is a company and so it’s all $$$.

I think it comes down to the Stern show being their biggest program. You think that would mean they would have dealt with Artie sooner, but they probably didn’t want to interfere when the whole point of Stern on satellite is that management would leave him be.

 

[Camel Clutch]

I don’t think i’m surprised that Howard didn’t do anything - He would be fine if Artie OD’d in studio if it meant the money keeps coming in. What I really question is how MANAGEMENT didn’t give a fuck. This is a company and so it’s all $$$. They were probably paying this dude six figures to be on their biggest show and for a good year or two he wasn’t contributing anything and fucking off from the show. I have no idea how they didn’t see the negative return on investment or the increasing liability he was posing. We all know how Norton almost lost his job doing the same shit at Krock, so i’m more confused how Artie kept his job doing even worse shit.

Artie wasn't a sirius employee. Howard's production company was paid a $100 million a year and it sounds like he 'syndicated' the show to sirius. Robin, Fred, Gary, Artie and Benjy would sign contracts. Artie once received Gary's check by accident, I could be wrong but it sounded like Howard's company made the mistake and sent it to the wrong person. I heard Artie bragging on another show that he couldn't be fired like other people on sirius likely because only Howard could make that decision.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

let's be clear, here. Artie's junkie proclivities actually appealed to the blue-collar fanbase (who were probably addicts themselves)... could Artie have done better if sober, maybe?
But he made a good fit at the time & Howard spotted that.

PS. @HomeRunCumia is better than @Sue Lightning... if he wants a cock-pic, he gets one!!! No silly closet-chat needed