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Hey Pat I recently went to the largest bookstore in the world.

Stetten's Long Thumbers

Poot poot poot poot
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NoBacon

An honourable man.
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In the Black would be in the cooking section, I would assume.
I just tried to read some, google has 30 pages for free.
I couldn’t make it past the first paragraph.
The syntax is immediately incorrect and tedious.

Me and my wife live together in a home that me and my wife live in and now me and my wife can’t enjoy the peace we once had in the house me and my wife live in.
 

Pringle Can Lothario

Sir...don't do that!
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Powell's City of Books in Portland. Maybe you've heard of it, considering your an author and all?

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Well anyway piggy I stopped by and decided to search to see if they had any copies of any of your books. And they did!

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Two of your books. One copy each. That's not very good piggy. Now it took a minute to find your actual books. You were on the bottom shelf of a bookshelf like this:

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But the funniest thing was that the 8 rows above you and a solid chunk of the shelf next to you was all Tolkien. Your shit books were just lost in a sea of books by an actual successful writer.

I took 'Starship Repo' and put it in the kids section. I'll let you guess where I hid 'In The Black' but it's in a section related to some of your favorite people.
Two books -- one of them used.

He's so bad at this.
 
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I’m still not sure if the Fonald Plump character is real or not. I obviously wouldn’t believe it normally but he’s such a bad writer I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually a real character in his books.
It's not only real, the dummy doesn't realize it proves he's a plagiarist (in my humble personal opinion in accordance with contemporary Wine Law):

The Krassensteins, two brothers who made a name for themselves on the anti-Trump Twitter circuit, wrote a children's book that was popular in such circles called "How the People Trumped Ronald Plump"

The only reason Fatso would name his character "Fonald Plump" instead of "Ronald Plump" is if he somehow knew that "Ronald Plump" was already taken. Not even Pat is talentless enough to choose "Fonald" unless "Ronald" is somehow not an option.

So in an effort to conceal the fact that his work is derivative, the D-cup Dummy ended up inadvertently proving that he'd seen the Krassensteins' prior art.

(again this is all my personal legally protected opinion, and your sister seems like she could stand to lose some weight)
 
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