Capeshit Retard

[TheDarkFezRises]

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A retard captured in the act of pant shitting.

 

[Meownaw]

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Nice W.C. Fields nose, stupid. Ahhhhhh yesssss I would like this fine black gentlemen to pass gas in my second better wife's establishmennnnnnt.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

People stopped saying “blowing up” about their phones years ago. Also your “call” to marvel can’t even get 50 likes so it’s best to move on, pig.

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That idea would BARELY make it as a three-minute animated short. May and Happy on the date, things are going so-so, sort of lukewarm. As Peter fights Kraven, he keeps the date from being ruined by the damage caused by the battle with May and Happy being absolutely oblivious to the goings-on around them.

Ooo, and how's it end, Notrick? Lemme guess: Aunt May comes home from the date, a smile on her face. She puts the single eglantine Happy plucked for her - just like Uncle Ben used to get for her (as we establish in the first thirty seconds)!!! - into a simple vase. She calls out for Peter -- WHO'S JUST SWUNG IN THROUGH THE WINDOW!!! He lands on the couch appearing as if he'd been there all night, studying no doubt, and - in the same way Ferris Bueller threw his baseball to shut off his stereo - Peter shoots his web at the window to shut it before May notices it was open. Remember, she told him to keep it shut earlier in the cartoon because of all the crime there's been in the neighborhood lately.

See? I can come up with unoriginal hackneyed ideas, too, Notrick. Any brotherman here could write circles around you. You're only an author in the nominal sense. I wouldn't pay you to write my grocery list, you no-talent grifter.

(Also, make it Doc Ock instead of boring-ass Kraven the Liontamer. Ock had an actual relationship with May in the comic books, you know nothing phony-ass fucking geek. Go jerk off in a pepperoni casing.)

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

this is so fucking embarrassing. then you see him tweeting shit like " cap wouldn't be your friend" on twitter to other people, like captain america and the special boy are bestest buds, you know you are dealing with a complete and utter moron.

I love the woman in the background looking up from her meal/conversation to contemplate what the fuck is going on with this loser. no way niki can get wet for this thing.

I hate you patrick s tomlinson, please go take a long walk off a short pier.

With Niki it seems like she just needed a husband to make her mom happy and found the closest thing to a woman which is Patrick. Niki gets to be “the man” while Pat plays housewife sitting on the couch all day. That or with Pat being an obvious man child retard it’s Niki gets to be married AND take care of a child without giving birth. Most just believe they’re two irresponsible idiots finding ways to get money through various scams.

 

[CanISitOnJonsLap]

That idea would BARELY make it as a three-minute animated short. May and Happy on the date, things are going so-so, sort of lukewarm. As Peter fights Kraven, he keeps the date from being ruined by the damage caused by the battle with May and Happy being absolutely oblivious to the goings-on around them.

Ooo, and how's it end, Notrick? Lemme guess: Aunt May comes home from the date, a smile on her face. She puts the single eglantine Happy plucked for her - just like Uncle Ben used to get for her (as we establish in the first thirty seconds)!!! - into a simple vase. She calls out for Peter -- WHO'S JUST SWUNG IN THROUGH THE WINDOW!!! He lands on the couch appearing as if he'd been there all night, studying no doubt, and - in the same way Ferris Bueller threw his baseball to shut off his stereo - Peter shoots his web at the window to shut it before May notices it was open. Remember, she told him to keep it shut earlier in the cartoon because of all the crime there's been in the neighborhood lately.

See? I can come up with unoriginal hackneyed ideas, too, Notrick. Any brotherman here could write circles around you. You're only an author in the nominal sense. I wouldn't pay you to write my grocery list, you no-talent grifter.

(Also, make it Doc Ock instead of boring-ass Kraven the Liontamer. Ock had an actual relationship with May in the comic books, you know nothing phony-ass fucking geek. Go jerk off in a pepperoni casing.)

See, this is an actual understanding of these characters and their motivations. Peter would want the date to go well so he'd try to hide the superhero shenanigans lest it spoil the romantic mood. Plus if he's fighting a villain, what use would it be to call his Aunt who doesn't have superpowers?

The whole bit is "Peter is an awkward teenager who tries to hide things from his mother figure" not "Peter cries for help but his mother figure ignores him because she prioritizes getting some dick".