Robert Kelly & sometimes Colin Quinn quotes thread

[THE D]

Never fucking start a sentence with "Gary Gullman said.."

Vinnie... I'm Colin Quinn... I shouldn't be ASKING you for this.

Jay Davis? Ever think of a stage name? You might want to get a name that's a little more distinct than... Jay Davis...

Make a kidney so my sister doesn't have to be RAPED!

 

[Gronez_Bambatta]

Vinnie, you had your chance and you've come up short.

 

[THE D]

 

[guest]

CQ IN ITALICS

Shutup, stupid rhino.

dawn got me a plug for the bath tub, so it doesn't over flow.... well she should get one for your mouth

you think you're this cool guy, coming in with your surf board, hey guys, how's it goin?

You're gonna have a sit down with shirippa? where, at your mom's house in brooklyn?

I got a bunch of melted yogurt in the freezer, waiting for it to get solid again.. what are you gonna do, fuck it?

you should have a myspace (s)

that's my daughter! why are you talking in that high pitched voice, it's really god damn annoying

you're trying to make me into seinfeld's bitch! well guess what. im one step ahead of you, fuuuuuuuuuuuck you bob

yea, I told them in the email I do a podcast with colin quinn, no response... you sure you spelled my name right?

you look like a hippo with a puertorican mustache

you sit there going I like him, artie's a good guy, I DONT CARE

I was at the comedy store an- BORING, CUT TO THE CHASE, ...BORE

the funniest guy you know is some florida crocodile idiot that farts naked on the floor. you have the sense of humor of my 6 year old nephew

dont call me robbie....why not, robbie?

okay, the philly rant was funny, but you guys are making a big deal out of it. it was funny, that's it. how bout this billy? fuck you.

--
im tired of typing . haha. i have a problem

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Hold my hand, dude

 

[alkiefuck2]

"if you say really, like tom papa again.." can't remember the line, FAWK

there was a guy on the youtoobs who was remastering the audio but i think he stopped

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Shut up, stupid.

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

Shut up, you bald walnut.

What's your karma? Did you slaughter an elephant in a previous life so now you're destined to be one?

(Talking about Jim Norton)
- ...he's doing well, he's got a new girl he likes. I would think you would hope for your friend to be happy.
-Why would I hope so?

Is that what they're calling peanut m&m's now, points?

 

[greasyfuckinpig]

The whole rant but specifically “Dane Cook was meant to have a happy, carefree life. You weren’t.”

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

There's one where they just call each other fat the whole time

 

[ChimpanZ]

You look like dom Delouise in fatso, FATSO

 

[FrogmanKurlan]

Hold my hand, dude

I gotta squeeze something.

 

[Gronez_Bambatta]

Shut the FAT up

 

[Zombie247]

CQ: "Meow, my owner Bobby is fat. Meow"

 

[GOD DAMN RICH CUNT]

Bob was sitting off to the side, Colin goes

I'm doing a painting called "Tibetan Lesbian on Couch"

 

[ElectricLightKazooII]

"IT'S THOSE FUCKIN' JIZZ TREES!!!!"

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

To what do we owe this unprecedented corpulence?

 

[Don Faggio]

"I'm hungry" -Bob Kelly

 

[Monk]

"You look like a great lookin' hot guy baked inside a giant pie." -Col on Blobby

 

[Monk]

"You have a bolo tie?"

"Shut your mouth right now you faggot. Shut your mouth you queer...the gayest guy would like to take that bolo tie and shove it up your ass and pull it out, pull your insides out with it you son of a bitch. Fuckin' cat ankle boots, you queer. I don't know what the fuck that is!"

"Why ya' gettin' mad?"