Question about the old testament:

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Did they have fat-person sex-swings back then?

 

[Raymond]

And the Lord spoke, give me pussy or I shall smite thee.

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

8,000 Egyptian slaves hoisted Fatrick two feet above the air so they could look for his microdick under the rolls of blubber.

Maybe he meant he was an “Old Testament Snack God”. That looks more fitting, unlike his awful skin-tight Target t-shirts

 

[Jim Norton’s Wife's Cock]

Let my chive plants grow!

 

[Snake]

Fatvelation 6:8​

“And I looked, and behold a pale horse with shaking legs: and his name that sat on him was Patrick, and his back fat followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with a deli slicer, and with defamation suits, and with death, and with the nigger beasts of the earth.”

 

[Mikekeke]

Patrick saith unto him, I am the coolest, the handsomest, and the strongest: no man cometh unto Twitter fame, but by me.

-stlaker 14:6

 

[guest]

Jonathan 3:16 says I just farted in Niki's vagina.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

8,000 Egyptian slaves hoisted Fatrick two feet above the air so they could look for his microdick under the rolls of blubber.

Maybe he meant he was an “Old Testament Snack God”. That looks more fitting, unlike his awful skin-tight Target t-shirts

Lard Lad comes back down from the mountain after a 40-day Twitter suspension with a beard talking nonsense about "I BRING TO YOU THE COMMANDMENTS OF HIM WHO HIS CALLED 'I AM' (fat)"

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

The thing about the Old Testament is that there were an awful lot of Jews in it.

 

[guest]

I watched that Noah movie last night. Not bad except for the parts where vegan Darren Aronofsky inserted his "meat is murder" trope.

 

[Cyberatorquer]

The thing about the Old Testament is that there were an awful lot of Jews in it.

too many as some people have pointed out

 

[Easily_Remembered]

The interesting thing about biblical times is that one of the forms through which men measured their virility was through the length of their hair and their beards. Pat is balding and incapable of so much as a 5 o'clock shadow, so outside of patronizing a harem, Pat would have probably had even less sex then than he does now.

"Verily, the clouds parted, and I heard a booming voice speaketh, saying, "I am the Pat, God of the Weimerites in all their unformed glory. What hast thou to say sayeth unto me?"

Covered in sores and having lost his family, (No) Job cried out, 'O, Pat! Thou hast forsaken me! Thou hast forsaken me as thou hast forsaken the fruit of thine loins! Didst thou not flee upon her birthing cries? Dost thou not spend thine time drinking liberally thine fermented drink? Dost thou not doze until midday? Dost thou not spend thine waking hours with the scribes? O, Pat! Why dost thou bless those who corrupt the bodies of thine children?'. Thusly, (No) Job began to wail in despair.

Behold, suddenly a great sound echoed, not unlike a great thunderbolt. It echoed for several moments., bringing with it a smell not unlike that of the dead. And Pat spake, saying :

Nay child, I haven't.
Nay child, I haven't.
Nay child, I did not.
Nay child, I do not.
Nay child, I do not.
Nay child, I do not.
And nay child, I do not.
This is why thou art losing.
Depart from me, child, and await the harkening of the magistrate and his many guards. Verily, do so quietly. Quietly is thine key!"

Thus, the LORD declareth, "Fuck ...awff!"

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

I am that I ham, children.

 

[kingship75]

The interesting thing about biblical times is that one of the forms through which men measured their virility was through the length of their hair and their beards. Pat is balding and incapable of so much as a 5 o'clock shadow, so outside of patronizing a harem, Pat would have probably had even less sex then than he does now.

"Verily, the clouds parted, and I heard a booming voice speaketh, saying, "I am the Pat, God of the Weimerites in all their unformed glory. What hast thou to say sayeth unto me?"

Covered in sores and having lost his family, (No) Job cried out, 'O, Pat! Thou hast forsaken me! Thou hast forsaken me as thou hast forsaken the fruit of thine loins! Didst thou not flee upon her birthing cries? Dost thou not spend thine time drinking liberally thine fermented drink? Dost thou not doze until midday? Dost thou not spend thine waking hours with the scribes? O, Pat! Why dost thou bless those who corrupt the bodies of thine children?'. Thusly, (No) Job began to wail in despair.

Behold, suddenly a great sound echoed, not unlike a great thunderbolt. It echoed for several moments., bringing with it a smell not unlike that of the dead. And Pat spake, saying :

Nay child, I haven't.
Nay child, I haven't.
Nay child, I did not.
Nay child, I do not.
Nay child, I do not.
Nay child, I do not.
And nay child, I do not.
This is why thou art losing.
Depart from me, child, and await the harkening of the magistrate and his many guards. Verily, do so quietly. Quietly is thine key!"

Thus, the LORD declareth, "Fuck ...awff!"

Vurry good.

 

[guest]

What exactly is an "Old Testament Sex God"? I've read the Bible and don't recall any characters matching that description. Pat seems closer to the whale that swallowed Jonah or the pig that jumps off a cliff after Christ exorcises demons out of a man and sends them into the animal.

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Leviticus 13:07: and God said upon thee, go forth my son and bury thineself in strange, for it is to be, you Patrick are my chosen sex god.

sadly Kyle didn’t sell him into slavery first.