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Patrick 'Trained Knife Fighter' Tomlinson

Phish

I told them to back off bcuz it wasnt their show
Forum Clout
40,442
If someone comes at you with a knife you kick them in the balls and then karate chop them in the throat. Or just shoot them.
Best bet (other than shoot) is to run. Create distance. Any time you’re within an arms length youre highly disadvantaged. Fists vs knife is almost always a losing battle. All you can do is hope you can control the one hand holding the knife (and if you watch the video op posted you see how easily the attacker just switches the blade to the other hand) or hope they drop it and you can grab it. Thats one of pats dumbest lies, that hes been in MULTIPLE knife “fights”. Some mexicans pulled knives on me and my brother and we hauled ass faster than I’ve ever run before. Youd be retarded not to.
 

Turry Fawks

Dean of Dog Piss Studies at Waterlooniversity
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32,015
Best bet (other than shoot) is to run. Create distance. Any time you’re within an arms length youre highly disadvantaged. Fists vs knife is almost always a losing battle. All you can do is hope you can control the one hand holding the knife (and if you watch the video op posted you see how easily the attacker just switches the blade to the other hand) or hope they drop it and you can grab it. Thats one of pats dumbest lies, that hes been in MULTIPLE knife “fights”. Some mexicans pulled knives on me and my brother and we hauled ass faster than I’ve ever run before. Youd be retarded not to.
21 foot rule?
 

AliceWorquer

Fat bitch with faggot tits
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18,282
Patrick only ever seems to make claims that expose the true depth of his ignorance. He couldn't make up a feasible lie if he tried.
I wish I was shameless enough to try a Patrick themed experiment, where I pick something I know nothing about and just position myself as an expert on it and never back down from my bullshit claims. I wonder how many people would just believe me.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

The Backbone of America
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118,068
At best you're gonna get cut up and still get away. If you engage someone who has a knife you're gonna feel it. It's retarded to think you wouldn't.

One time my buddies and I were walking through an alley by my old apartment late at night and we saw what we thought was a dude beating the shit out of a guy against a wall in the dark. We were like "Git 'em!" and kept walking. The next morning we heard about a guy getting stabbed a whole bunch and put it together that we literally saw it happening and didn't realize. We walked back through there and saw a literal puddle of blood.

Another time I saw some crackhead pull out a little hatchet and chop his buddy's hand in half outside a bar. Then hatchet guy was like "we good?" and the other guy was like "YOU JUST CUT MY FUCKING HAND OFF YOU RETARD! I worked with both of those guys on a solar farm lol. They were buds.
 
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