If they didnt get lucky with 2000s-era shock jockery, what jobs could Opie, Ant and Jim actually do?

[Mick_Mickerson]

The Opester could probably do alright in sales because he's competitive and doesn't mind being fawkin' uncomfortable. He also would have had a college degree. He wouldn't be the top sales guy in his department, though, because he says odd shit to people. He'd be comfortable financially though and would just be an "edgy" suburban soccer dad.

I honestly can't imagine Ant excelling in any other field due to laziness. He'd probably be an itinerant fry cook who does a gig long enough to pay rent for 2 months, quits for a couple weeks and starts again at a new restaurant.

Jimmy would probably work at a grocery store in the produce department and would try to impress all the teenagers who work there with SHOCKING crude stories

 

[satanssockpuppet]

Yeah, I could see Opie selling Kias or storm windows or solar panels or something. Nana would own a slipshod contracting business with his oafish brother. They'd sub all the work out to day laborers, and spend the bulk of their days arguing online with customers who left them bad reviews. Jimmy would have some pitiful job on the outer fringes of the sex trade, like ticket taker at a peep show joint, or coffee gofer for some shady porn studio, or working the front desk at some rub & tug massage parlor.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

Yeah, I could see Opie selling Kias or storm windows or solar panels or something. Nana would own a slipshod contracting business with his oafish brother. They'd sub all the work out to day laborers, and spend the bulk of their days arguing online with customers who left them bad reviews. Jimmy would have some pitiful job on the outer fringes of the sex trade, like ticket taker at a peep show joint, or coffee gofer for some shady porn studio, or working the front desk at some rub & tug massage parlor.

You picture the cumia brothers owning a business???

 

[Anthony's Lime Rickey]

Anthony would be dead, and world would be a better place

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Opie would be in the radio business. Maybe sales maybe a low level DJ in some small market, making just enough to live.
Anthony would still be a tin knocker doing a poor job and the Mexican coworkers having to do twice the work fixing his shit. Ant would come home and bitch to Joe about the damn Mexicans

Jimmy would fully give into his sexual deviancy and sell his asshole on the street eventually dying of AIDS related monkey pox

 

[LingerLonger]

Opie could spot talent and probably would have made a show like Joe Rogan Experience if he didn't have his own radio career to worry about. Opie would produce something for ESPN or whatever and maybe be on air talent without needing the shock element. He'd work in radio or television but be dopey sports reporter and not famous. Norton would be a mid or low level standup and working actor but never headlining anything or getting more than a bit part. O&A basically opened every single door for Norton when it came to him getting HBO gigs or bigger acting roles. But he'd still be an actor. Also guys like Burr or whatever would be way less famous as well.

Anthony would probably be dead or life in jail for some pedophile or homosexual related crime. Without Keith the Cop to fix things for him he'd be in jail rotting. Either that or he would have snapped and killed his wife Jennifer and gone to jail for that. No chance he ever gets into show business without Opie needing a flunkie sidekick.

 

[Agent Smith]

Opie: promotions at some podunk radio station

Anthony: HVAC

Jimmy: taking cocks in his ass and mouth

 

[lowend73]

Anthony would be a bar regular, still scraping by with menial labor jobs. Gigs for rotgut would be pretty much done for once COVID hit. Anthony would never in a million years become a foreman or union member. He could go busking with that shitstain brother of his at the Jamacia Queens station

 

[LAZERBEAMZ]

Yeah, I could see Opie selling Kias or storm windows or solar panels or something. Nana would own a slipshod contracting business with his oafish brother. They'd sub all the work out to day laborers, and spend the bulk of their days arguing online with customers who left them bad reviews. Jimmy would have some pitiful job on the outer fringes of the sex trade, like ticket taker at a peep show joint, or coffee gofer for some shady porn studio, or working the front desk at some rub & tug massage parlor.

You're way overshooting it, neither Cumia is organized enough to manage some Mexican day laborers. Anthony would be that guy at the bar you kind of know that says he is a carpenter, so you hire him to install some cabinets in your kitchen. He shows up, curses a lot, screams nigger a few times, all while you are watching him from the other room because you are not 100% sure he won't steal when you're not around.

He technically installs the cabinets, everything is a little shoddy. You notice small mistakes and defects over the next couple of months. Whenever you run into him again he shamelessly fishes for more work, like "hey I know you didn't like that sink, I could put a new one in for you, ya know" and you make up excuses to not have him back, like "oh yeah, maybe next year!" and eventually find another bar to drink at.

 

[DMAN]

They didn't get lucky. They got famous off of Opie's ideas and Anthony's noises.

 

[JebJoh]

Anthony would be a bar regular, still scraping by with menial labor jobs. Gigs for rotgut would be pretty much done for once COVID hit. Anthony would never in a million years become a foreman or union member. He could go busking with that shitstain brother of his at the Jamacia Queens station

Their real income back then was selling coke to kids to support their band and stupid promotions. I remember seeing some of his promo videos only because he was so ugly people shared them

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

They didn't get lucky. They got famous off of Opie's ideas and Anthony's noises.

They got "lucky" in the sense that 1998-2010ish shock jockery exists in a weird bubble that will never be recreated.

Ant can't function on stage but got to lord over comedians like Louis ck and burr because of the shock jock phenomenon. Now shane Gillis and other comics have the huge podcasts

 

[DMAN]

a weird bubble that will never be recreated.

What's old is new again, jabronie. Just you wait. Kids are making basic 80s music and shitting themselves over it. The whole woke angle is just building heat. The blowoff is coming, in time.

 

[DMAN]

Need THE D remind you that Joe Rogan, 50 Cent, CM Punk, Bill Burr, etc are all regularly in the news and friends of The Opie & Anthony Show? Give yourself a bell.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

What's old is new again, jabronie. Just you wait. Kids are making basic 80s music and shitting themselves over it. The whole woke angle is just building heat. The blowoff is coming, in time.

I hope that's true. That will be really funny if in ten years we are watching shows with zoomers throwing pieces of baloney at stripper's asses

I would be vurry surprised tho

 

[DMAN]

I hope that's true. That will be really funny if in ten years we are watching shows with zoomers throwing pieces of baloney at stripper's asses

It's happening already. If Opie was 18 he would be the biggest star on tiktok rn

 

[Ladynyahh]

Opie and Anthony are obvious. Opie would be doing radio in some small market as mentioned before because he's been doing it since he was fawkin 18. Anthony would be in some blue collar job making 35 grand a year at best. Joe would probably be a cab driver or something as he has no skills or schooling.

Jim might have been able to sustain a meager career middling in comedy but he wouldn't have anything near the level of fame he had when he was on da show. He was a "shock" comedian in a time where "shock radio" was incredibly popular. Now the world has turned faggot and Norton's routine is naht funny. He's even shacked up with a 6'4 man in a dress with a giant cock, trying to parlay that into some kind of show, but that's not working either even when trannies are all the rage. I don't know what point I was trying to make here but I'll just close with saying that Jim Norton is a homosexual and takes loads in his bottom

 

[Pussymagnetpat]

It's happening already. If Opie was 18 he would be the biggest star on tiktok rn

This is literally nortone and master po 20 years ago to the date