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After all these years, how reasonable does Rick make this guy seem?

JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS

JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS

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It’s a good question because Joe Cumia is an idiot but he’s also a genius.

Please see below for a high quality and impartial analysis below.
  • He grew up with a trash father and whore mother who split up. Joe and Anthony crossed the country to play broke back mountain with Joe Sr. before finding their way back to Long Island when they were legit kids/teenagers.
    • Patrick lived off of a shitty rural highway and only moved to Florida to chase a woman who gave him a job; he left after he got cucked and then fled town after PCJ said he was looking for him because he ran his dicklicker
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • He dabbled in legit and illicit businesses such as making fake customized pistol grips; manufacturing / selling / using drugs; doing something in the army; leading a tribute band (using contracts for racists that actually held up on the people’s court); lounge performer on an international cruise;
    • Patrick is primarily a layabout who has side gigs where he writes shitty novels; runs a low price airbnb; sells some sort of shitty insurance; and lasted a half shift at target
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • Joe Cumia strong armed his little brother Anthony to pay him a $60,000 salary for decades because he handed Opie a tape (knowing what we know about Anthony, that probably counts for way more than it should since I doubt he’d have the grapefruits to do that himself)
    • Patrick shamelessly lives off his wife and her mother, which includes funding multiple lawsuits and paying shit tons of interest because he willfully ignored the courts orders. He gets his fat hands on their fat money despite bringing literally 0 value
    • Point begrudgingly goes to Patrick on this one
  • Joe Cumia is a family man who cares about his daughter (in the sense he didn’t leave her or threaten to murder her); goes to family functions; had (consensual) sex with his hot sister (you’re literally gay if you disagree); Eskimo brothers with his closeted homo of a brother
    • Patrick legally abandoned his daughter after threatening her life; married the first girl he fucked; got cucked by that same girl; married a barren lesbian who was in a throuple; there’s no evidence that Patrick is welcome by either side of his family and he spends holidays at dive bars
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • Joe faces the pests and didn't sue them because he knew it would fail; he’s now pretty much left alone because he (rightfully) doesn’t take them seriously
    • Patrick paid a troll $80,000; was terrified by DAN MULLEN; after 5 years he continues to respond to every single thing
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • Joe Cumia will have an entertaining death (like slipping on a banana peel and falling off the side of a mountain)
    • Patrick will have a undignified death (like having a heart attack on his couch while posting on Twitter)
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia

So there you have it - the Chad Joe Cumia destroys the gay Virgin Patrick 5-1.
 
AliceWorquer

AliceWorquer

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Patrick is one of the worst kind of human beings it is possible to be. That's not even hyperbole. He's worse for society than any sfwa child rapist, because at least you know what they are. You could fix a million Samuel Delaneys in the same time it would take to fix one Patrick Tomlinson
 
TorqueWheeler

TorqueWheeler

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I take umbrage with Pat's one win. I'm not sure how Joe loses this one:

* Grifed his brother into paying him 60k for years upon years so he could focus on chasing his dream of playing the guitar at an extremely average level as well as getting to earn more than he should by advertising himself as a famous guy called Brother Joe who was vaguely tied to a huge radio show he wasn’t even welcome on.

Or...

* Being a fucking retard living in squalor whose wife had to ask her mother for about 5 times the amount of money necessary if he just hadn't been a stubborn imbecile because he was about to go to jail. Now he has to run an AirBnB scrubbing shit and cum stains out of things in order to pay her back.

Otherwise, you nailed it.
 
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DominusOdium

DominusOdium

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Joe isn't all that bad. He's just a dumb fuck old man who didn't understand that the same tough guy shit that used to work on the street doesn't work online. He knew when to stop, mostly, the legal shit (in that he's not 6 years in and faking terrorism so he can keep suing) and usually responds by laughing at texts and calls these days. The cow learned, the pig is incapable of learning.
 
S

stealthygeek

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Racist Google Intern said:
Remember when Joe tried to talk to pat and he got called a stlaker, that was funny.
Click to expand...
c97f807cbe46a4e70cf94f4e5d1e47bb.jpg
 
CQ Beans

CQ Beans

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JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS said:
It’s a good question because Joe Cumia is an idiot but he’s also a genius.

Please see below for a high quality and impartial analysis below.
  • He grew up with a trash father and whore mother who split up. Joe and Anthony crossed the country to play broke back mountain with Joe Sr. before finding their way back to Long Island when they were legit kids/teenagers.
    • Patrick lived off of a shitty rural highway and only moved to Florida to chase a woman who gave him a job; he left after he got cucked and then fled town after PCJ said he was looking for him because he ran his dicklicker
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • He dabbled in legit and illicit businesses such as making fake customized pistol grips; manufacturing / selling / using drugs; doing somethingin the army; leading a tribute band (using contracts for racists that actually held up on the people’s court); lounge performer on an international cruise;
    • Patrick is primarily a layabout who has side gigs where he writes shitty novels; runs a low price airbnb; sells some sort of shitty insurance; and lasted a half shift at target
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • Joe Cumia strong armed his little brother Anthony to pay him a $60,000 salary for decades because he handed Opie a tape (knowing what we know about Anthony, that probably counts for way more than it should since I doubt he’d have the grapefruits to do that himself)
    • Patrick shamelessly lives off his wife and her mother, which includes funding multiple lawsuits and paying shit tons of interest because he willfully ignored the courts orders. He gets his fat hands on their fat money despite bringing literally 0 value
    • Point begrudgingly goes to Patrick on this one
  • Joe Cumia is a family man who cares about his daughter (in the sense he didn’t leave her or threaten to murder her); goes to family functions; had (consensual) sex with his hot sister (you’re literally gay if you disagree); Eskimo brothers with his closeted homo of a brother
    • Patrick legally abandoned his daughter after threatening her life; married the first girl he fucked; got cucked by that same girl; married a barren lesbian who was in a throuple; there’s no evidence that Patrick is welcome by either side of his family and he spends holidays at dive bars
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • Joe faces the pests and didn't sue them because he knew it would fail; he’s now pretty much left alone because he (rightfully) doesn’t take them seriously
    • Patrick paid a troll $80,000; was terrified by DAN MULLEN; after 5 years he continues to respond to every single thing
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia
  • Joe Cumia will have an entertaining death (like slipping on a banana peel and falling off the side of a mountain)
    • Patrick will have a undignified death (like having a heart attack on his couch while posting on Twitter)
    • Point goes to Joe Cumia

So there you have it - the Chad Joe Cumia destroys the gay Virgin Patrick 5-1.
Click to expand...
I’d have to disagree on one point which unfortunately only punches up for the cow. He did in fact take the Redditards to court via a certain chill spot entrepreneur who would neither finance or endorse a bigot. Despite not wanting to bring up the Reddit people he got the ‘girl.’
 
Uncle Anthony Cumia

Uncle Anthony Cumia

Hot tubs, guns and slack jawed brothers
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I think Pat is jealous that Joe actually has a rich relative (I’m sure that wealth is declining though right AntH?) willing to fund his layabout lifestyle. Joe is a guy who plays guitar and sings at dive bars or on cruise ships, but he’s actually doing that shit. Piggy is NOT a stand up comedian, no matter how much he LARPed as one, until our reviews of his terrible videos he posted finally got him to quit claiming to be one.

I’ve said it before, I’d probably have a beer and bullshit with Joe about music and guns. I wouldn’t want to be within 100 miles of Piggy.
 
Honeycomb Hideout

Honeycomb Hideout

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Uncle Anthony Cumia said:
I think Pat is jealous that Joe actually has a rich relative (I’m sure that wealth is declining though right AntH?) willing to fund his layabout lifestyle. Joe is a guy who plays guitar and sings at dive bars or on cruise ships, but he’s actually doing that shit. Piggy is NOT a stand up comedian, no matter how much he LARPed as one, until our reviews of his terrible videos he posted finally got him to quit claiming to be one.

I’ve said it before, I’d probably have a beer and bullshit with Joe about music and guns. I wouldn’t want to be within 100 miles of Piggy.
Click to expand...
I would want to see pig in the flesh like i enjoy seeing zoo animals
 
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